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Cheezburger Network Blog
That’s going to get sticky!
Yeah, it’s fun, it’s like hockey, but the hockey stick looks like a huge tampon…
Why on earth is this in dutch? It’s not really English… tho the meaning of the first part would be identical
yah indeed tampon is the same in dutch as in english :p
but i’ve heard some other less vagina-related meanings for tampon…. cant remember em tho
That’s a dutch sport in a bars played with tampon-hockey sticks. So the sign is correct. Disturbing, but correct.
More like douche!
Haaa, fantastisch, nog Nederlandstalig volk
Haha we zullen ze eens allemaal goed voor de zot houden met onze fantastische Nederlandstalige comments 
(unfunny remark in dutch)
I’ve never played it, but as it’s played in a bar, I think I’d like it
Kom je toevallig uit het zuiden van het land?
Actually it’s called like that cause the sticks look somewhat like a tampon. It has a big foamrubber end. Thus the tampon.
This is not Engrish.
Besides the fact everybody in the Netherlands speaks at least half decent English, the word ‘tampon’ means exactly the same in English as it does in Dutch (and the same goes for hockey), so obviously this is deliberate.
It’s kind of ironic though, trying to make fun of ‘bad’ english whilst actually demonstrating how totally ignorant you are of other languages.
haha pwned!
Hey.
Um. I’m pretty sure it’s called a sense of humor, and I’m pretty sure you need one.
Thanks.
I’m sure some may think otherwise
Do you actually live here? Because no………… not every speaks any English at all. No-one does at GasElectric NL, my huisarts barely speaks English, hell even the English teacher at my son’s school can’t speak English. At least he wouldn’t to me even though he knew I’d been here less than 6 months. Most people over 55 don’t speak more than a few words.
To be fair; you don’t seem to speak English all that well, either.
And if you’ve been here around six months, wouldn’t you relish the chance to practice your spoken Dutch? After all, you *did* take a lot of classes, right? Or are you going through life expecting people to conform to your anglo-saxon superiority complex? Because, if so, you are in for a hard time in the .nl. Just saying. The Dutch don’t take well to such attitudes…
Well, the Dutch I know always switch to English as soon as they notice the slightest accent. I’ve been here for over 8 years, I can speak and write Dutch actually very well, but people notice my accent and immediately assume I want to be talked to in English. Something like: “Mag ik de tandpasta, alstublieft? Yes, sir, it’s 1.50 euro. Bedankt. Ahn… je kunt gewoon Nederlands praten hoor. Tjonge jonge jonge, je spreekt Nederlands! And what else can I do for you? Nou, een beetje Nederlands spreken, ik moet me zo goed mogelijk inburgeren… Oh yes, sure, it’s a difficult language isn’t it? OK, I give up!”
my “huisarts” xD
It’s kind of ironic though, trying to make fun of ‘bad’ english whilst actually demonstrating how totally ignorant you are of other languages.
Yes, because when English speakers learn a second language, Dutch is always at the top of the list.
You know, if you don’t know something, there’s always Google.
This is a classic making-fun-of-something-you-know-nothing-about-thus-making-a-fool-of-yourself FAIL
It’s not about what foreign language you are likely to learn, it’s about making at least an effort in trying to find out if the sign is Engrish at all. In this case, it’s not so much Engrish as it is ignorance. The uploader’s ignorance. A visit to Babelfish or most online dictionaries would have told the uploader that ‘Tampon-hockey’ (note the hyphen) is indeed correct Dutch.
But when you say “when English speakers learn a second language”, that’s an example of “hypothetical” and “sarcasm”, right?
[Dutch] Toch nog een hoop kaaskoppen hier. [/Dutch]
it should be…
Dutch would, indeed, be a completely pointless second language, because so many Dutch people speak excellent English. Dutch is my fourth language.
Oh yes you think it completely pointless to speak dutch. I’ll speak to you when we rule the world again in about 15 years. MUHAHAHAHA.
Dutch isn’t pointless. I’d take it third, though, after German.
After learning German, you just need to get drunk and they sound exactly the same!
I’d love to learn Dutch as my sixth language
Dutch is my second, and has been quite useful. So, neener-neener!
english speakers don’t learn second languages
period
but unlike the french at least you speak english
but they should right?
right
Nah, we all speak Spanish.
Jawel! Sommigen leren ook nederlands spreken. Mijn tweede taal, en niet helemaal waardeloos om te kunnen.
Jammer klinkt mijn uitspraak iets te belgisch…
In any case, fijn to see so many NLers on the site. Zo gezellig.
Dacht ik ook! Nederlanders rule!
It was for me. But oh wait…….. yeah, I actually LIVE here. *gasp*
flikker op, kippenneuker.
How many periods do they play?
Nice one!
ZING!
It’ll end up just as bloody as regular hockey. i’m sure.
It is a pretty aggresive sport. You hold the tamponstick in your hand and try to smash a little light ball. Most of the time you hit other players instead of the ball, resulting in lots of bloody noses. We used to play this in PE. Those were the days…
Check.
I used to throw with them to tackle other players. Those actions got rewarded by getting a whack to the head from someone of the other team
best PE game ever.
we always played it in the last 15 minutes ^^
WIN!!!!
Disgusting win.
Nice
Ha ha ha ha! Actually, that’s quite funny
)
Wish I’d come up with that one….. damn…. (then again, I’m a Cloggie as well, like many others in this thread)
t00T!
The scoring must be pretty low when one takes the narrowness of the goal into account.
And that was just a tad too far
On a mostly unrelated note, my stepmom, in all her infinite wisdom, bought a toy for our dogs that is basically a super long tennis ball on a string. And damn if it doesn’t look like a giant yellow tampon…
We’ve got one of those at our house.
I saw it and was like o.O
Dutch is one of these most annoying languages for an english speaker, plus if you ever mistake a dutch for german (dutch know how to speak german as well) they’ll slice your head off. I trying to pronounce the dutch language.
Also the group I ran into was a bunch of European teenagers ignored me since I was a guy and there were girls on the bus.
You also trying to speak the English language, I see
so true xD
connect rebuttle here button fail…
You fail,Dutch don’t usually speak german. Dutch HATE germany,they killed off like 75% of our population. so yeah,calling a Dutch guy a german will get your head sliced off.
(This engrishfunny.com submission also fails as there is no engrish or incorrect translation in there.)
WTF?
Most dutch people can understand German. And where the hell do you get those statistics
indeed, most Dutch people speak german, because it’s a required subject at school. and he got the statistics from WW2. and yes, I once sliced a person’s head off cause he called me a German.
Dutch is similar to German, so it’s usually not so difficult for Dutch speakers to understand some German. It’s like, I dunno, Spanish and Italian. I see they’re very much rivals in soccer (‘Beckenbauer seropositief!’) but considering the number of Dutch people I’ve seen with German husbands or wives, I don’t think the rivalry is sooo deep. It’s more like teenager stuff that disappears as they grow up.
((: wtf.
so your saying
that evert Nederlandish person (yes, its called dutch but i like nederlandish more xD) just wasted at least 4 years studying german in high school?
such a shame :0
I’m dutch spend 4 years on german in high school, and still can’t speak it. Nor do i actually want to speak it…
I can read german pretty good though.
And saying 75% is a bit much… maybe you mean 65% off the jews?
dont ya ever say nederlandish again, it acttually is the german way of saying dutch, so say dutch or nederlands or i will join the pissed of head slicing cult. And we do learn german in high school, but only 2 years… and we also learn french and spanish, you lazy ass kapitalists.
75% van de Nederlandse bevolking gedood door de Duitsers? Je moet echt wel een halve gare zijn om dàt te geloven! Het is slecht gesteld met het Nederlandse onderwijs, maar zó slecht? Overigens, u mag drie keer raden wel West-Europees land de meeste joden naar de kampen en de meeste vrijwilligers naar het Oostfront heeft gestuurd. Eén tip: het begint met ‘N’ en eindigt op ‘ederland’.
And now in English: Rhinox obviously doesn’t know what he’s talking about. 75 % of the Dutch population killed by the Germans? Well, he could be trying to be sarcastic, but in a totally tasteless kind of way…
Yeah. But I totally hate it when they get all pissed if you confuse the languages, as Germans call their language Deutsche which can easily be confused with Dutch for some reason… but yeah they should be a bit more understanding on that one
I am Dutch, and it’s true Dutch can sound like German to foreigners. It all started out as one language, so ‘duh’, that’s logical.
I don’t think that too many (well-educated, I might add) Dutch would mind if you would try to talk Dutch, possibly correct you if it’s German, but that would go for a younger generation. The elderly and their offspring tend to hate Germans because of the war, and therefor don’t want to be mistaken for them. Because they HAVE lost relatives and friends.
I used to work in Amsterdam and found it quite amusing (in a positive way) when a customer tried to talk Dutch. Just the little effort. =)
Though it’s taught at High School, most don’t remember a word German, probably because most don’t care. (Except when it’s Euro/Worldcup football, than they can call names etc in German..)
English sticks to the brain a bit better because of movies, so if you want to be safe, go for English.
Oh, and I don’t mind and do understand/speak German. Not so much education wasted here.
And yeah, 75%? Get real.
Though it’s fun to see so many Dutch here!
Hallo allemaal!
-Agrees with this not being Engrish, btw-
Well yeah it sounds alike. To anybody really. I’m an American who speaks German, and I can understand most Dutch.
We generally dislike germans;) So any screwups with the deversion can create a lot of furiosity… And it does sounds funny, I know, like the sounds frogs produces.
1 tip, dutchies are very longxD
produce*
THIS IS NO ENGRISH.
this is an actual game, played with ‘tampon-sticks’.
No matter what language it is, or if it’s mispronounced, mistaken, misspelled or just plain weird, it’s still funny as hell
And it’s neither mispronounced, mistaken or misspelled – the big foam hockey sticks this bar game is played with DO look like *tampons*, THUS THE NAME.
It IS funny (especially you inquiry, Dakker!
) but not quite apropos for this site. 
Dutch people are so cool! And they know so many languages! And I certainly don’t think our pronunciation is annoying.
Kun je nagaan hoeveel Nederlanders er op failblog en co kijken:p
ja dat begint mij ook op te vallen zeg =P
Lol klopt. =P
dat komt doordat de meeste nederlandse sites zuigen XD
Wist ik ook niet. En ik ben geen Nederlander hoor !
We played this at school. Actually it’s nothing dirty just hockey sticks and at the end of it are white soft “things” that have the shape of a tampon. Therefor the name tampon-hockey.
So no, this is not Engrish/English if you ask me.
De tering… wat een Hollanders hier. :O
Bij deze dus het meest toepasselijke, slechts te vertalen woord uit de Nederlandse taal…. GEZELLIG!!!!
Greetings, Groeten.
I’m the dude that took that photo. It was a games kids were playing at a youth hostel in the city of Enschede 2 years ago.
I just want to say: I didn’t post it here (but feel free to use the pic) so I never really thought about the definition of “Engrish” _ it just struck me bloody funny.
Forgive the pun.
Sorry to the purists out there. Jullie kunnen doodvallen.
Kisses,
Toby
Oooh.. Ik ben al doodgevallen! ;-(
I could be wrong, but my understanding of Engrish was not that it had to be of asian descent, or even a bad translation or a misuse of grammar or spelling. It simply had to be something that would strike a native English speaker as an odd, unusual, or funny way of trying to say something. No native English speaker would have created that sign UNLESS they were TRYING to be provocative. The fact that it is perfectly normal there is what makes it Engrish.
How dare you introduce logic!
I agree with you. Many people miss the point, which is that this is funny to some people who speak only English. Though the word “Engrish” was coined because of many Asians, particularly Japanese, when saying words in English tend to pronounce R as L, and sometimes conversely.
The humour in this picture is because those who speak only English are mostly only familiar with the word “tampon” as a feminine hygiene product. Thus, we see a sign that says “Tampon-Hockey” and we picture a bunch of big burly hockey players using a feminine hygiene tampon in lieu of a puck.
Dank je wel =)
But what you imagine, is what it is actually…
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Also, for all those people saying “a quick Google search would have cleared this up,” imagine you are an English-speaker totally unfamiliar with Dutch bar game culture… You’re thinking “ponging around bloody feminine hygiene products…” You really think you’re going to run home and Google THAT? I think it’s totally understandable that a person would be so irked or confused by this that they wouldn’t look it up. Would you have Googled any of the other Engrish entries? No, it wouldn’t make sense to.
I still think this is totally appropriate for this site, because again, the site is about phrases, regardless of their legitimacy, that simply sound hilariously awkward to a native English-speaker. “Tampon hockey” sounds hilariously awkward.
Now I’ll go tell all English-speaking people around the world to brush up on their Dutch bar game trivia so as not to offend anyone ever again.
Thankyou XD well said. I think people assume its a mistake, and so wouldnt google it. Also its rather awkward when people who use your computer find you have been researching tampon hockey
You miss the point. Tampon-hockey means the exact same in Dutch and is just as provocative and strange in that language, not at all “perfectly normal there”.
The sign is in Dutch, the sports term is in Dutch and it just happens to translate to the exact same in English. Equally strange in both languages, not trying to say anything it isn’t, therefore not Engrish.
This post is a FAIL!
Ah, now that makes sense… Tamponhockey, what a silly silly name. We called it something else, but maybe that’s cause my school was weird
[/dutch]
[dutch]Maar wat een Nederlanders hier
Just remember, they play only once a month.
win
It’s actually called ‘knotsbal’ in Dutch. Its played with 2 teams with 4 players each, and they both try to score with a rather small ball using sticks with foamrubber ends. Because these sticks look like tampons on sticks, its also called ‘tamponhockey’.
That even is an official club: http://www.slagvaardig.utwente.nl/ (dutch).
En allememachies, wat een Hollanders hiero!
Jeetje, het bestaat echt…wat een maf gezicht!
Nooit van gehoord
Tampon hockey IS actually called so because it’s a semi-serious student sport with sticks looking much like tampons. So I wouldn’t call this a fail, but rather a win actually, since it is a pretty accurate description of the actual sport
Er zijn hier ook Belgen!
I’ve heard of the sport, but I’ve never heard of any Belgian playing it..
Moeilijk he? Even babelfish gebruiken?
(difficult eh? Using babelfish?)
As stupid as this may sound, this is actually a sport. Our gym teacher taught us this sport, and yes we all laughed when we heard the name of the game. It’s played with giant cotton sticks (which looks like those thingies u clean your ear with xD) It’s pretty funny actually, it’s just like hockey, but here you can punch eachother because it won’t hurt that much =)
I’m Dutch, but I also speak English (if not, I couldn’t even type this XD), German and French(a little bit)
WOOT TAMPON HOCKEY!!!!1
Hey, this is not a fail… It is dutch true.. But tampon hockey actually exists in the netherlands. you have huge sticks with tampon like foam on the end.
It is a joke in general
.
Kanonnen, wat een zootje Nederlanders hier.
Holland for world domination!!!
woo, ik ben ook nederlands. wat té mooi was was dat ik er laatst achterkwam dat een vriendin van mij hier ook gewoon te vaak kijkt.
nooit gehoord van tamponhockey, wel van mensen die tampons vinden in het zwembad en er mee gaan gooien. duidelijk.
what i don’t understand is when german people speak english because they think we’ll be offended or something… i love german! it’s a language that needs getting used to, i guess.
What I don’t understand, is how the hell you play ANY kind of hockey inside a bar…
Veel Nederlanders hier XD.
its not played inside the bar, they are just gathering there..
Lol, nice bitchfight over here
As far as (most) Dutch ppl go – especially those from the younger generations – most lean 3-4 languages at school. First Dutch of course, followed by english, german, french. Some schools teach spanish too and the really freaky ones (but you’d have to be smart to attend) will feed you latin and greek (ancient, not modern) too..
And since you find Dutchies everywhere on the globe (once in the middle of nowhere in Turkey on a boat offshore I met the girl I used to take dancing classes with – and she was a former classmate of my wife)
Soooo… I don’t think it’s really useless to know some dutch
)
Tenslotte regeerden wij de wereld vroeger en als het zo doorgaat doen we dat over 50 jaar weer!
So, any questions on the rules?
Yes, as for you please could you explain how you score?
You can’t score until the tampons are gone
you need 3 things to play tampon hockey (ook wel menstruatie bal genoemd voor de Nederanders)
a couple of Tampon hockey sticks (the weird sticks with a foam rubber top) a small ball you give to little children and 2 small goals.
the rules are simple
you put the 2 goals each on another site of the play zone.
Then there are 2 teams they have to get the ball in the other teams goal. if you get the ball in the other goal, your team has a point.
all the rules
The game is real fun
menstruatiebal? nederanders? ik ken die woorden niet..
Tamponhockey is really great! There is just no tactic in playing because you never know where the ball is going if you hit it
Why isn’t Belgium mentioned here?
I didn’t know that “Hollanders” learned French and German :s
Is this really?
We do it at school, it’s logical since we have 3 languages…
It comes in handy, but after all, it’s a lot of work…
no excuse for this…