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Oh wow, first time poster, and first position
Oh, don’t you start!
Seen a lot of those pictures in a German book called “Würste der Hölle” (sausages of hell)
Um, WTF? What are you talking about? Engrish pictures (or Chindeutsch)? Seen somewhere other than this very recently established blog? Get out of town. My whole life has been turned upside down by this, the greatest revelation since “My cat’s breath smells like cat food.”
Is this where I NEED the “Careful Police”?
I would like to report myself stolen.
Police: …
Serious! I was on my way to Golden Showers for some Ethical Drugs on the way when I was stolen!
Police: Just how many of these ethical drugs have you had so far?
Just a handful ociffer!!
What seems to be the officer, problem?
For cunt’s sake, fuckstable!
I haven’t drink anything to have today, I shwear!
I SWEAR TOO DRUNK I’M NOT GOD!
Its sage advice
Good to know, man. I’m always getting picked up by shoplifters and such.
What’s the guarantee you’ll be returned?
Much like saying “if you’re dead, get yourself to a funeral home.”
I hate it when I get stolen.
BUT! Now I know to call the police!
… but every time I go to the police to try to tell them I was stolen by aliens, they roll their eyes and tell me to go home and take my pills… I wish they’d make up their minds.
Help, help! I’ve been stolen, and so has my virginity!!!
Are you upset or happy to have that over with finally?
I get it!
Ha Ha Ha!
They screwed up!
They give the Police Phone Number as “once” rather than “one”!
[At least it's an easy number to remember]
The “at once” is correct, meaning immediately, not a telephone number.
N F S S
It’s ok. I have insurance for that.
Well, I will!
but what if theres no phone?
This is the kinda thing you’d see on a Monty Python sketch.
*Random cop in station answers phone*
“Hello, Police? I’d like to report a theft in progress.”
“Ok sir. And what’s being stolen exactly?”
“Um, me.”
“Did you say -you- are being stolen, sir?”
“Yes. Me. I’m being stolen. I’d like to report the theft of… me.”
“You mean kidnapped?”
“No, no… definately stolen.”
*Cop puts phone down as the desk sergeant walks in.*
“Who was that?”
“Just another nutjob, sarge.”
“One born every minute, eh?”
*Camera cuts to a John Cleese walking down the street with Eric Idle tucked under his jacket*
“Well?” Asks John.
“They didn’t believe me.”
“Told ya so.”