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nature no free – new short bible – polite sex get son – romantic get daughter – sexy get lady boy – free sex party become poor dog – pay for sex become black rat – more sexual become cockroach – solution eat half dinner or vegetarian good sleep
Engrish photo by Kate T
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My head just exploded. ouch.
Mine, too.
I third that.
W……t…f?
Vegetarians, FTW !!!!!!
woo hoo!
Oh my god.. That has to be the wierdest thing I’ve ever seen :S
The best part is they felt the need to edit some parts by putting peices of paper over it. I like the illustrations as well.
Actually, I think the “sexy” that he added clears the whole thing up a lot.
And your name means shit.
a very wet shit.
Woah…
What…?
Why?
HOW???
o_O;;
WHAAATTTT
I just experienced projectile snot laughter that landed in my green tea.
Obscene book… XX movie… Make You Blind!
**scratches hairy palms**
I just want to know…. if XX movie make you blind, what does XXX movie make you? It’s one “x” worse, so the consequences must be really awful!
Maybe XXX movie make you deaf AND blind? No, then they make you play pinball…..
But that poor deaf and blind guy plays a mean pinball!
Plays be sense and smell no less!
WTF?
This deserves a “lol wut”.
Pay for sex->become black rat
More sexual->become cockroach
XD
Bad food in sewer.
Pay for sex->become black rat
What if you sell sex? Or pimp it?
Become fat pigeon, maybe…
It’s sort of a bible mixed with buddhism poster or someting.
I wanna know more on how to get a lady boy.
I’m very concerned. How do I get a butch dyke girl? I don’t want a ladyboy, I want an iron-pumping lesbian.
W
T
F?!
Does anyone know what this could possibly mean? I don’t think it’s telling me that I should have sex with a lady boy, just as long as I don’t have a party about it or pay.
“do it” politely to get a son,
romantically to get a daughter,
and sexy to get a gay child?
Perhaps the rest is warnings about what you will come back as in the next life if you have orgies (become a poor dog), or pay for prostitutes (become a black rat)?
To fight temptation, stay hungry or eat vegetarian?
lol… eat vegetarian
Eat vegetarians! They taste better!
Cow..delicious!
Lamb..delicious!
Cat..ewwwww..gamey!
Dalai Lama..delicious!
This would be true… if the Dalai Lama were a vegetarian.
Well, I’m already vegetarian, so if I buy a ladyboy for a sex party, what do you think I will come back as?
Happy
A lesbian carrot lady boy, I would have said.
HOLY SHIT you got it!
::applauds::
Wow look how far our comments have come…..this is sad. o_O
Actually, I think u cleared that up nicely, Jennifer.
Obscene Book…XX movie..make you blind————–thought that was a myth?
it’s only a myth if you aim carefully or use a sock. Otherwise, you might put your eye out with that thing.
The hair on your palms is true, though.
At least we’re not the only ones confused. Apparently whoever made this sign is confused about what you get when you add a man and a woman.
And I’m kinda curious about the process where “homo people —> become entertain dog.” o_O??
uh… I think some people call it “yaoi”.
animals = furry
yaoi = two males
Whatever, I already knew that…don’t, PLEASE don’t ask me how…
Animals = Bestiality
Anthropomorphic Animals = Furry
This is the internet man, get your strange fetishes straight!
And a homo dog too (in brackets after entertain dog). Double trouble ;p Does this mean if you’re a male prostitute you come back as a male dog prostitute?
I think this is definitely a poorly translated guide to Reincarnation as dictated by your sexual practices in your current life. With a side note on how to have sex in such a way as to procure the gender of choice for your child. And recommendations for your human diet.
dun
dun
dun.
Sounds close enough to me…I couldn’t understand any of it. Maybe it’s one of those “If you need to know, you will” kind of things.
as found somewhere on the Interewebs:
Koh Tao, Thailand
Flag of Thailand
Saturday, May 06, 2006 12:26
Entry 71 of 106 | show all | print this entry
We got 2 nights discounted at the Buddha dive resort hotel (air con room for cheap thanks to our fine negotiation skills), after that our room price goes from 250-1000 baht! So we decided to move north to the main drag on Koh Tao, to a place called Mr. J’s, which seemed to definitely have personality and we’d seen it in our guidebook.
Maybe the first story we heard should have clued us in – the owner, Mr. J, had been involved in a passport stamp scam where he was supposedly running passports to the border for an immigration stamp every month for the foreign dive instructors on the island, for a small fee of course. (Thailand visas are free for 30 days, then you either pay to extend the visa or make a border run to exit and re-enter the country). Mr J ended up designing his own fake immigration stamps and just taking the money. People were jailed for having counterfeit stamps on their passport and it was a huge mess.
But anyway, we moved and met some brits, had a great night out, had a great night sleep! But Lance woke up itching and we both realized that we had been eaten alive by bedbugs. My bites never really itched (lucky me), but they were all around my ankles, behind my knee, and all over my arms. Really disgusting thought to have slept with tons of bugs biting you all night. This was our second encounter with bed bugs but much worse than before in Luang Prabang.
So we told Mr. J (who by the way didn’t seem at all surprised) about the infestation and he moved us to another room. But we knew better, and checked the bed corners/sheets for bugs and found some there too.
So we packed up to leave the joint, decided to just move to another guesthouse, but then Mr J started yelling at us when we tried to store bags in our friend’s room and actually called the police on Lance when he (sort of) came at Mr. J. So that was it, we were outta there. Koh Tao sucks except for the diving. Overpriced everything, sketchy guesthouses, the only reason to go is to dive.
We caught the ferry an hour later for Koh Phangon, although we’ll be back in a week to Koh Tao to turn in our homework for our advanced certification card and to do another dive or two. Never ever going near Mr. J’s again, though.
I’m so glad you found this somewhere on the interwebs…and good call posting it HERE!
Oh, Belllie , you are always witty and relevant.
Googled “Mr. J’s KohTao” I guess? To see if s/he could get a 2006 souvenir?
DO NOT TAKE YOUR LUGGAGE INTO YOUR HOUSE, there are probably already bedbugs in it. Take it somewhere where you can wash EVERYTHING in it in EXTREMELY hot water for at least a half hour. Check out more info online, too, bedbugs are EXTREMELY easy to bring into your house and it will cost you thousands and thousands of dollars to MAYBE get rid of them, after destroying all your furniture, of course.
These instructions are useful, as well, if you stay in a New York City college dorm or 3 star hotel.
Man, you guys have just killed all incentive I have ever had to travel. Thx!
I know how you feel. I check every bed and bedside stand before I even put anything on the floor nowadays. There are also a couple of websites where you can see what areas and what hotels have the biggest problems.
Which reminds moi of where the French Polynesia (as in Tahiti) government requires visitors entering from Fiji to have their baggage fumigated prior to being allowed to claim it.
Kind of the Asian version of Dr. Bronner’s soap labels …
win!
Noice..lol!
I think reading the reactions in the comments was funnier then the sign.
Ditto.
The best part is the L upper corner where at least 3 corrections seem to have been made. As though there were something less correct there before. Because the rest of the poster is so accurate. Or something.
this thing is so messed up it doesn’t even deserve to be on Engrish *sends to recycle bin*
Hey, wait! I was reading that!
*gets pic from the recycle bin*
Oh, man! It’s all crumpled up now… ¬¬
Petey Wheatstraw doesn’t pay for sex, sex pays for Petey Wheatstraw!
Does this happen everywhere, or just in Soviet Russia?
“Solution: Eat half dinner, or Vegetarian..Good sleep…”
Thats what new short Bible says, eat vegetarians and sleep well. And don’t pay for sex, or they will make turn you to a black rat.
Always remember: XX movie make you blind, just as true as bad food in sewer.
Vegetarians do taste horribly though. *shudders*
I think he means having half-portions of a more conventional dinner, or otherwise ordering vegetarian dishes.
“Previous life been Horny Sperm and Abortion?”
It also says “ORPHAN Previous Life been HORNY SPERM and ABORTION” under the Obscene Book line. o_O
so messed up it doesn’t deserve a soviet russia reference.
In soviet russia, reference deserves you?
Looks like a bad math equation D:
IMO it’s a flow chart.
This makes nearly no sense at all. The only sensible stuff is random stuff about sex, animals, homo, some part about making you blind, some “new short bible (ko tao)” (wtf), and random words in random order. WHO MADE THIS CRUD?!
what exactly were they going for anyway?
The vegetarian diet and enough sleeps prevents you to turn from a natural animal. When do I hate me to have that question. I’ Happy m has the answer present.
Apparently Mr. J is a very busy & industrious man. I had to look up more on this as this photo is one of the weirdest I’ve ever seen here yet.
Mr. J runs his own small motel offering fine bedbugs & dirty linen at a very reasonable price. He has a small bar attached to his restaurant for those who are barfing in the dirty toilet but want to numb themselves so they don’t feel the bedbugs biting. And of course, in such a prestigious establishment as his, he sells his own home-made condoms – guaranteed to last 20 years! Ha! Let’s see any fancy-ass western company make something so good. (I wonder if they also offer free condom washing with each purchase?)
He’s well known for filling the countryside with his many signs. Hey! can’t lose a possible customer! Here’s some: http://preview.tinyurl.com/8jnffo
And this site gives you a guided tour of his lovely establishment (somehow I can’t quite picture it looking anywhere this good). http://preview.tinyurl.com/9ydnwq
But it seems business is booming. Even if each customer goes away dissatisfied, I’m sure dozens of others will come to try his hospitality. ;-P Be warned!
*nods* Yup now it makes just a little more sense…
gads bed bugs in ANY country are gross… though this guys hotel looks better than some of the places I was at in Europe.
If it weren’t for the “eat vegetarian” line, I’d bet this sign was in Oklahoma.
Nah, you’re thinking of Arkansas. There are a few literate Oklahomans (or at least a few transplants around the military bases in OK who can read and write).
It means, don’t fornicate, don’t watch porn, eat vegetarian, otherwise your next life will be shitty.
It’ the engRish morale.
how exactly does one have “polite” sex? sounds British.. or Amish.. or some kind of ish…. do I have to say “thank you” after I orgasm?
omg you can’t orgasm!! NO!!! That is impolite!!
I don’t know how you have ‘polite’ sex but I think it has something to do with the civilized urination, after which you may go outside.
Or something.
Reminds me of a Family Guy scene about British porn.
“Almost, almost, almost, there we are”
“Good show”
*headdesk*
LOL…..not British, I can assure you! We’re not that bad….
This might make more sense upside down…..
YOU make more sense upside down. Now suck my toes.
Wow. Just…wow.
So, to become more sexual, you have to become a cockroach? o_O
no no no.. you have to have sex WITH a cockroach.
I have the sudden urge to fornicate madly while watching porn and eating meat. i may just take the lord’s name in vain while i’m at it. and if i get really going, i might just do something crazy. like tear the tag off the mattress while we do it “sexy” and i’m not saying please or thank you once. no polite sex for me, just rude, cutting in line at the grocery store, douple dipping in the salsa farting in an elevator rude. and sex.
you forgot the slapping.
Strange, this occurred to me, too. We ought to have a theme party…
Is it Bring Your Own Cockroach? I’m asking for a friend…
The cockroach is optional, but it’s definitely Bring Your Own Ladyboy.
Damnation! My ladyboy’s being revarnished. No party for me, then.
this confuses me immensly.
So… if yer a slut you’ll be reborn as a cockroach. OK.
But a happy cockroach!
Cockroaches are possibly the only thing to survive that motel… that and the bedbugs… which are cockroaches who have done it sexy with a ladyboy… or something of that nature.
cockroaches are awesome and cute
I really really feel as though I’ve missed something vital here. Hm.
I think the whole point is about missing something vital.
I am throwing out all my Sexy clothes – NO LADY BOYS FOR ME!
I never comment on this site… but W-T-F! D-:
I am all for eating vegetarians
hey, your avatar even makes you look like you would!
This is five to ten kinds of epic.
The funniest part is that it in all its’ madness, the sign still makes more sense than the original bible.
…
I recommend using a modern, English translation..
Nope. Oponn’s still right…
Mr J’s on Koh Tao, blinding
Surely this is the most epic picture on here?
Free sex will make me become a poor dog, but paying for sex will make me become a black rat. I’m conflicted.
You know, a lot of Engrish you can work out what they meant. I have no clue what this was supposed to mean.
And my head hurts from trying to work it out.
Anyone know what it actually means?
do NOT have sex! And eat only vegetarians, or half your dinner.
Is this about not masturbating and/or receiving the services of prostitutes? This is by far the most confusing engrish ever..
I’m scared.
“Nature no Free”
can that just be the slogan of the future?
Has nobody noticed the bit about ‘homo people’?
homo people? where?… I’d take one giggling panda to see it
It was me that took this pic, and I posted it here partly in the hope that someone can tell me what it means! I’m glad people like it.
You’re right, this is Mr J’s on Ko Tao (which is actually a really nice island). Luckily I didn’t stay in one of his properties, but he also has a second hand book shop, which is where I met him.
His conversation makes nearly as much sense as the sign, so we backed out fairly quickly while trying not to be rude, but I did stop to snap the picture on my way out.
I was wondering if the proud discoverer of this gem would reveal themselves… This sign is particularly terrifying… more so with the context!
I *do* wonder just how “romantic” or “sexy” one has to be to get a lady boy… because that might make the trip worthwhile! Well, as long as you had something to kill the bed bugs… where did you stay so as to avoid those issues?
Well done Kate T on this gem of a sign!
Seriously, Mr. J based his sign upon his own beliefs about karma, re-incarnation and what one will come back as in the next life according to what one does at Ko Tao…
e.g. If you become really horny at a party and get a good shag without saying thank you afterwards, the following will happen:
1. Your child will be a homo
2. After you kick the bucket, you’ll come back as a half-poor dog, half cockroach sewer food in your next life.
Unfortunately the flash got in the way of the part where Mr. J explains the mechanism in which homo people turn into entertain dogs, which just happens to be the very last mystery of the universe…
Have to love Mr. J’s writing style though. Polite sex sounds so eloquent!!!
Would it be in the same league as my own blog (q.v.)?
I’d also like to know what it means…. I am so puzzled and curious.
Oh, and about the toddler in the black diaper … whose fault is that?
*boggle*
Looks like any other mainstream religious beliefs to me. No worse than the ‘rapture retards’ who believe Heaven has a dress code, or the Westboro Baptist Church, or the pedophile priests.
Let’s face it, people smoking crack make more sense than religious people proclaiming their religious beliefs.
Ooh, you’re real hardcore. I bet the girls line up to suck your cock every day because of what a cool, edgy guy you are.
Atheists like you make the rest of us look like deranged maniacs. Shut up and get some respect.
Evildave’s right. This is just basic Monotheism 101 dressed up in a Buddhist robe.
This site seems to have an explanation about Ko Tao, Thailand, though…
http://www.scruffydan.com/blog/?p=416
Apparently, the ‘Nature No Free’ is advertising prostitution. They are against ‘free sex’ because it should be paid for.
AHA!
I have found another, better explanation.
This is an ad from a brothel in Koh Tao, Thailand. The ad is for prostitution. They are against FREE sex. You should pay money for it.
They are offering sex with men, women or boys.
Oh, and click on my Name for the link to the site that explains this mystery, since if I post the URL in the text body, my post never appears.
Or maybe one of the other explanations offered here or there…
o_o That lady boy option doesn’t seem like such a bad idea….
I really really like your icon name…
Another one of his signs:
(Let’s see if HTML works…)
I think he’s saying that the more fun you have with sex, the less desirable a child you’ll have. Hence nature being not free.
Nope, HTML no worky. Doesn’t even like URLs, let’s try that again:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/goatsfoot/175458532/in/set-72157594358958713/
Also, I got this pic:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/goatsfoot/175458533/in/set-72157594358958713/
I am Farang ..?
But My Pocket
Not Farang
This reflects Thai bemusement and annoyance at all the backpackers who are wealthy enough to come over to Thailand and get pampered by poor Thai people, who nonetheless act poor. Also referred to as Bird S**t Foreigners (Farang Kee Nok).
I’m a strict vegetarian that likes lady boy… so what do I come back as?
Let me add: They NEED TO DO WAY INSTAIN MOTHER> What kill their babby. Because these babby cant frigth BACK?!! It was on the news this mroing!
Comprehension FAIL!
Where the ()&*$&*))*)*)*&%^$ would you even START making fun of this one…???! Overabundance of Engrish, I’m overwhelmed!
don’t you dare have sexy sex!
So if you’re trying to have a kid, make sure to be polite or romantic. If you make it too sexy, you’ll wind up with a ladyboy?
So THATS where my parents went wrong…
…I have a bone to pick with them.
lol. “thanks for having dirty skanky sex”
Sex is serious business.
sex is serious business. and business is good!
it seems all of you skipped a couple of lines:
one says “enjoy (?) homo people -> become entertain dog”
the other “ORPHAN-> previous life been HORNY SPERM and abortion”
yay!
And…”Spirit can’t return”/”Spirit disintegrate”.
WOW!
EPIC FACE PALM…
lol it says ENTERTAIN HOMO like right where the light spot thingy is. this is so funny. lady boy!?
I’m… *Twitch* So… *twitch* Confused… *twitch*
And yet slightly aroused. Lol.
I like how it says “Homo people –> Became Entertain Dog (Human Dog)”…
So has anyone figured this out yet?
And is there anywhere I can buy this poster?
I declaim this a win, just based upon the “SEXY get lady boy!” line. Har har har.
OK, so can somebody get a copy of this and scan it as a PDF? I think you could sell thousands to college students for their dorm room walls
I want to go to this place!
OH. MY. GOD.
At least I know how to get the gender I want.