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Cheezburger Network Blog
Pirate love: rum, sodomy, and the lash, ahoy! Just as long as I’m press-ganged aboard any ship *except* the Titanic. Now, just let me get my Jack Sparrow eyeliner, and I’m ready to ship out.
‘Twas on the Good Ship Venus……
Oi, what are you lot doing up there in the rigging?
Arrr! We be up here to abate the mast!
Friggin’ in the Riggin’!
Okay, you are now my bestestest friend, whether you get a restraining order or not.
Maybe “Titanic” is an euphemism for “Going Down?”
That’s it, I’m off to get the other ninjas, we’ll show you what we love to do to pirates. Mariko, have you seen my hakama? No, the one with the daisy print, the Dora the Explorer one is in the wash.
The funny thing is that pirates really used to often be gay because homosexuality was punished in England way back when. The only way to escape prison was to leave, and the only way to make a living afterward was pirating.
But I don’t want your rumcock.
I am with you. I don’t want it either. We’ll let the sex addicted alcoholics go at it.
In my opinion, any alcoholic who is addicted to sex is just not serious enough about their drinking!
Are you saying you can’t have both? Why not? They would have to drink in order to forget about whom they slept with to satisfy uncontrollable sex urges, yes?
But that puts drinking in a solely secondary, supportive role. For a true alcoholic, the booze is the #1 concern!
Generally speaking, for gentlemen, it’s one or t’other. They sort of cancel each other out. “Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes. It provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance. Therefore, much drink may be said to be an equivocator with lechery: it makes him, and it mars him. It sets him on, and it takes him off. It persuades him, and disheartens him, makes him stand to, and not stand to. In conclusion, equivocates him in a sleep, and, giving him the lie, leaves him.”
Er, Samuel Johnson?
The Bard, dear, the Bard. The porter from Macbeth. I love his little speech about ethanol-induced impotence, and learned it many years ago (although my teacher at the time didn’t think it was a suitable favourite bit for a young gel to have).
Noted for future reference, thank you!
It’s certainly about some man’s Johnson.
Well, don’t shake your spear at me!
You’re Bacon the pun theme again, you naughty boy…
WTF?! Trojan opens a bar for gays after a successful marketing campaign with their flavoured drinks
Or maybe it’s a bar for straight women. Gay guys aren’t the only ones who like cock!
1001 tails:
“Oh Achmed…save me from this beastly pirate!”
“As soon as I untie myself, Fatimeh. What did he whisper to you?”
“He said he likes you and your crankshaft arrrr arrrr arrrr…”
arr me sees it before but i dont agree that we pirates harbor any love fer ye land lubbers n yer spicy swashbucklin swords
I’ll have a Titanic, but NO ICE!
Lol! It’s the perfect drink for one of those evenings you just know is going to end badly, i.e. you’re going to get filthy drunk and wake up with a loser. Which I have never done, of course.
EPIC WIN!!!!
Yoooooooooouuuuuu’re heeeeeeeeeere,
It’s juuuuuuuuust as I feeeeeeeeeeared,
‘Cause I knoooooow that the puuuuuuuns will go oooooooooon…
well they thought it was rumcock because it’s ‘cocktail’.
so why is rumcock = funny and cocktail = not funny?
You obviously never had cocktails with me!
The Cabin Boy, The Cabin Boy, the dirty little nipper….
In case of rhyme, break glass.
Coconut RumCock- a Penis Colada?
I’ll take mine with the large “swizzle stick.”
If you like Penis Colada,
And getting caught in the golden rain…
If you’re not into yoga,
And prefer other kinds of pain…
If you like making love at midnight,
Wearing mask and a cape…
oh my penis colada,
from you none shall escape…
hahah cocktail!!! it should be coketail.. whew made my day!
HA!
Personally, I think the “love of pirates” is the funniest part (maybe because I’m older than 12), but can we get a better translation of what it’s supposed to say?
It actually says, literally “Pirate’s Love”
I hope the ingredients aren’t listed! Probably include spong glue…
Yarrr! For the love of pirates; give me some of the rumcock and I promise I won’t touch yer booty! I’d like some coconuts with that…
The Titanic doesn’t sound very tasty…..
It tastes like Lusitania.
salty?
WWI reference?
Did anyone else look at the top left hand corner and see the words “Kum/Cocktail” before you realized it actually said “Rum/Cocktail”
That aside I’ll have the cocktail…FRUIT!
i’d prefer my cock to not be spicy, waiter!
Cock means cocktail, it’s just shorter form.