Leading, lighting and alythmatic
Can Beer
the guidance of the handling article
A Writer
Submitted by: digitalcoffee via Engrish Funny Submissions
narita airport convenience kiosk translation guide
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Writes torch songs, perhaps?
You do’nt know until you take a piece of paper and try to write that song
The can beer would obviously help writing those songs to an old flame.
about can beers?
Actually, I saw a convenience store while driving yesterday with a sign saying “Yes we have can soda!” I couldn’t get my camera out in time.
Fantastic.
An important philosophical question is being asked here. Can beer “fire up” a writer? And the answer is obvious: since beer will readily douse flames, of course not! It takes at least 110-proof hard liquor to fire up a writer.
I still smell burning nose hair from the last time I used a lighter while getting fired up.
You’d need more than one can, but I assure you that beer can get writers lit up!
Actually, the form in which one consumes alcohol is largely irrelevant to issues of abuse and dependence. I’ve known plenty of alcoholics who drink only or primarily beer. And believe me, as a recovering alcoholic and member of the treatment community, I don’t take such issues lightly. But as is usually the case around here, I was joking, and my joke was really just a reference to the fact that at room temperature, solutions of alcohol weaker than about 55% (110 proof) are not flammable.
No offence intended mate; I was just trying to get meta with the double meaning (far from unusual for me), and do know several other recovering alcoholics. No way could you know that though, any more than I knew you were one of them.
No offense or offence taken! When I banter about boozing I usually feel a need to sooner or later add a disclaimer, since there’s a lot more joking about alcohol than serious discussion in a lot of places. I don’t have a thing against people who don’t have a problem with it drinking, and I’ll even serve them myself in my home sometimes.
I was hoping the reference to burning nose hair from burning shots was a warning to stop when the stupid seems plausible and fun.
For someone with the disease, such warnings go unheeded. You’d think vomiting hot vodka out of one’s nose would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but in fact I went through quite a few of those before I got sober.
In no way did you or anyone ask for this, but my favorite “thing I don’t do since I got sober” is burn hard boiled eggs. 20 years and more ago, I couldn’t seem to stay on point while hard boiling eggs. Do you know what happens to eggs when the water boils away and the heat isn’t turned off? The first time I heard it, it sounded like gun shots. I’ve cleaned more exploded egg of kitchen walls than anyone I know. Of course, I don’t go around comparing…
Actually, I mentioned this very same phenomenon the other day! I can’t recall which picture it was in reference to, but I’m sure you can find it easily with the search function. But MY favorite thing I don’t do since I got sober is to look out to see if the car is there. I never figured out which was scarier: if it was there, or if it wasn’t…
It was in reference to “Pizza Roof,” June 18.
Well, so you did! See what I miss when I decide that the subject photo isn’t funny and ignore it? I also liked the other commenter’s story about his dad having to have his boiled down eggs put out by the fire fighters because of all the smoke. I knew that there had to be other egg burners out there, I just didn’t know where. And my husband, also a recovering alkie, has told me many times that knowing where his car is and what he did in it is one of the best parts of being sober. He used to be afraid to check the grill. I was too afraid to drive until I’d been sober 5 years, which in a way was a great thing. I killed a lot of brain cells but no one under the wheels.
Or teenagers – for teenagers such warnings go unheeded, along with “drink enough in one sitting and you will die” and “driving very fast when you’re a novice driver may be fatal” and “use a condom, STIs are rampant amongst your age group” and “you can get pregnant the first time you Do It, even if you’re standing up” and “using drugs can screw your life up very very badly if they don’t kill you” and “jumping out of a plane without a parachute is a bad idea” and “playing russian roulette with an automatic pistol is a really bad idea” and “drinking battery acid laced with cyanide then jumping off a cliff into the ocean in midwinter wearing a necklace of lead weights whilst garotting yourself would probably be fatal”. Teenagerdom – there is no Campral treatment.
My theory is that there is some biochemical that is produced during adolescence that produces feelings of invulnerability. I hypothesize that this is necessary because if teens and young adults did not feel this way, they would never leave home and go out into this big, scary world. And that is why some of us take to consuming substances that bring back that feeling of invulnerability.
If they were, liquor stores would pay MUCH higher premiums on their insurance for the added fie hazard.
r
HELP! THE “R” IS MAKING A BREAK FOR IT!
Fee, fie, fo, hazard!
I smell the smoke of a boozy b@stard!
No doubt there are writers who can be fired up by beer; whether what they are fired up to write is worth reading is the question.
Sometimes, when you’re a writer, you don’t give a dang if it’s worth reading, as long as you can get your brain to let you write *something.*
The trick is just to sober up before you think about showing the product to anyone.
♫ Come on baby, write my fire ♫
Or would it be, write my file? That’s a song I could REALLY get behind, since I hate paperwork!
Sung by Jim Mollison
And Lobby Kliegel on guital, Lay Manzalek on keyboalds, and of course John Densmole on dlums.
Yeah, I just love the Dools!
I rove the Lorring Stones, too! And the Beaters.
is for writing cigalettes.
Exactry! It’s about time we got some real Engrish around here.
you ah vely sirry guys
Beer and fire will never guide or handle me!
I would hope that you would allow a fire to “guide” you to leave a building!
Technically, if you look at the color, it’s a “Brew Writer”.
Can Beer? Yes It Can!!!
Witty Engrish WIN!
It can! But it better get off its can first!
Of course, the can of a can would be the can can, which is a French dance. I think if your beer starts to do the can can, you’ve had too much!
Well, now that I’ve beaten this horse to death, I think it’s time to get uncanny.
I think I speak for all of us when I tell you to can it.
Go away, all of you, or I will release my caniche.
My friend is from Can-ada, and he should go!
J’habite à Cannes, en France avec mon caniche.
And then we are going to Kansas to compare sunflowers.
Who on earth cans ass these days???
Well, I suppose that if you have a surplus of donkey meat and you want to preserve it, canning is an option.
That’s true. It’s always good to have a way of saving your ass!
When I am under the guidance of the handling article, and that article be can beer, then it usually comes out “Gotta writer for muh ganga spriff?”
I never did get much guidance from handling articles myself. I get a lot more out of them when I read them.
can has beer prs?
I NOT HAS A PRS!!!!!!!!!
Do you has a satchel, Dr Handle? Since you don’t has a prs.
Whatever she’s got, I’m sure it’s got a Handle.
I don’t know what a prs is. Does it have claws or pointy teeth?
It must, since I associate prs with cats!
It is not related to the can beer thing.
ライター is pronounced raitaa, which is closer to ‘writer’ in English. However, the sound of L is transliterated into the sound of R in Japanese.
Leally? We nevel norticed that alound hele.
I once knew a fella named Nevel
who seemed like he was on the level.
He kissed me one night,
then lead with a right
but I got there first with with a shevel.
(Okay, I know shevel is cheating. I just coldn’t think of anything more rhyming with level. It is 2:09 am here)
‘with with” geesh…time for bed.
You countered his right with a shevel. Is “shevel” a Hebrew term for a haymaker?
Probably could find out that myself, if I ask someone who works on a kibbutzim.
Bet it left him dis-sheveled.
I also betcha he was mattock at her.
But he ran away, so she didn’t get into a shove-l-ing match with him.
Stop raking it over and just enjoy limerick attempt.
He say we not interrectuarry advance enuff round here to understan such comprex things? I raugh at the ferrow, tho I don rike his attitude round fohks rike us.
The Chinese translaiton is wrong too!
Paperback Writer
From the soundtrack of Fahrenheit 451.
Lit reference WIN!
Oh, and *clonk* for a truly Dreadful Pun.
If you’re going to clonk and condemn Daily Lama to Dreadful Pun Hell as is stated in your job description for Dreadful Pun Hell Fairy (it’s also in the Fairy Union rules, too, if I recall), then he should be sent to the 9th Circle, since that one was one of the bestest I ever did see.
sadly, this was the first thing i saw after getting off the plane.