The James Brown Memorial Steakhouse
Sex Machine Sex Machine Sex Machine Since 1988
Submitted by: Krista via Engrish Funny Submissions
A restaurant in Osaka.
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Once…twice…three times an Engrish!!
I particularly like that the first set meal on the poster is called the “Machine Set”.
Mmmm!
Wait…is steak supposed to be an aphrodesiac?
I’m a teenager; linolium is an aphrodesiac.
Sublimate that lust into a passion for spelling! Linoleum. Aphrodisiac.
To be fair, I think Paws might have copied my misspelling…
Could be, but sooner or later people need to realize that if they rely on others’ spellings they’ll make a lot of mistakes! These days it’s rare to find someone who knows when to use “it’s” and “its.”
I know, its rediculous how lose some people are with they’re spelling, and there grammar to.
It’s GRAMER!
English 102
Gramer and Riding
Yeah, that class is a few doors down the hall
lol
It’s actually funnier to see people who don’t really understand “there” “their” “they’re” trying to explain it to other people who don’t know. Simpler spelling errors aren’t as funny. And If a teenager can spell aphrodisiac correctly, there’s clearly a problem.
At least then they wouldn’t fall for the ads for “genuine afro-dizzy-yak” found at the back of “adult” magazines! (All right, so I did. All it did was make me stumble around on all fours with frizzy hair.)
very true… then again a crappy keyboard can expedite the population of typos too.
Don’t crap on your keyboard. Use a western-style Toto Wash Let. Very refreshing.
Also, never crap your hands. That’s what the toilet is for! Fresh crap!
I’m a mom and a wife; my kid going to sleep without arguing is an aphrodesiac.
Oh, I know that drill well! My daughter just left to stay two weeks with relatives. Suddenly I feel like a teenager again!
What IS it with nine year olds and bed time?!?
What is it with nine-year-olds and ANYTHING???
*Cough* Buffy quote *Cough*
Well, an adaption rather than a straight quote, but yes.
Ah and I did just copy the spelling of aphrodisiac above; It’s a word I write very rarely, so I just assumed… and yes I know assume makes an ass of U and me!
Buffy FTW! I must admit I didn’t recognise the quote, but I bet it was spoken by Xander.
That would be an adapTAtion.
It is in MY house. All the cats and my husband love me more when there’s steak on the table.
This looks a bit out of place since I was answering the original “Is steak an aphrodesiac” question. Head cold is making me stupid. Its just not fair that it’s getting in the way of clear thought – and gramer.
Not stupid. Your link was as good as the site allows. Anyone who can negotiate the nesting will get the link.
What’s the aphrodisiac for you? With some women it’s when he does the housework, which actually makes a lot of sense.
Since his idea of doing the housework is spitting on a surface and rubbing it with his sleeve, that one just sends me into hysterical laughter. Well..laughter is one of the great aphrodisiacs. I think. Keep me laughing and I’ll swoon at your feet.
I’m afraid a woman laughing during secks would just feed into my insecurities and performance anxiety!
According to that great philosopher, Groucho Marx, it’s OK to laugh during secks as long as you don’t point.
Men have to provide for a woman’s greatest need. Some can provide passion, others laughter.
I don’t even see any place to put the, er, money into it!
Always ready with big meat.
*Clonks PG with a tofu brick*
Actually, it just kind of squished apart into several chunks…
If you’re always ready, you’re a much younger man than I am, Gunga Din!
charcoal, beer, and tongs ready for big meat.
BBQ will find a way.
BBQ is for cheap meats like ribs or smoking a brisket.
Charcoal Grill Steaks. Season only with salt when done..
If you have to do anything else, you are fixing an improperly graded roast.
Stop it, I’m starting to dribble.
Better find someone to pass to.
Sex Machine Since 1988? No wonder the meat is raw!
I would think it would be mummified by now!
The special sauce has been kept frozen fresh though!
that’s in osaka, dotonbori district.
There’s actually a happy ending after every meal. Just go to the bar.
Random note: My comments show up here, but not in the fail blog, does anyone know what is going on? I hope I didn’t get banned or something.
We’re just much nicer here at Engrish.
We tolerate failure- just look at half my jokes.
Well that’s fine, but I just want to know if there is something I can do to get back there?
Really, if your comments are getting through here, they should be able to get through there…
Commenting wise, this is one whole big outfit. If you were banned there, you’d probably be banned from the whole Lolcat Universe, kinda like the whole Amish community shunning you.
Unless there is a Failblog Grand Poobah who has an enemies list specific to the Failblog Poobah and you’re on it, and the aforementioned Poobah can’t get fellow Lolcat Poobahs to fall in line.
I did piss off a few people on Fail Blog, but they were being way too strict. Then I made it up to them, logged off, and an hour later, all of my comments were deleted, and I couldn’t make any new ones. Though it was weird, I had no comments from that thread forward, but all of my previous comments are still there.
I was waiting for someone to use that kind of avatar!
Are you sure you’re registered on failblog? Make sure your details are really there in the reply box. Mine disappeared from this site recently.
“Go to the bar”? Wooooo! Dreadful Pun Hell Fairy will catch you eventually!
Big Dreadful Pun Hell Fairy is watching you.
I had a similar issue a few weeks back on PunditKitchen. It turned out that PK was rejecting an URI (linking to my ICHC account), and blanking my name and email as a result.
And then…
“Get up, (get on up)
shake your money maker”
Can’t remember offhand any beef or fish songs in Mr. Brown’s repertoire, but where in da hell is da MASHED POTATOS? He did do dat.
He did do the Camel Walk, but that doesn’t look like camel meat. Unless this is a Berber restaurant.
“Can I take’m to tha BRIDGE?
Take’m to THA BRIDGE?
HHHIIITTTMMMEEEEENNNNOOOOWWW!!!!!”
I’m sure he did the mashed potatoes with a Brown gravy!
Certainly! He did break out into a cold sweat! Quite frequently.
Oh, he sure did sweat, but he always looked like he was about to die of heat exhaustion!
He sang about Mashed Potatoes, Grits, Popcorn, and ‘Licking Stick.’
Quite a lot of starch there. But he needed the energy provided by all those carbs.
But all that starch sure didn’t make him stiff!
“Licking Stick” is about corporal punishment. Trust me, I knows: the song lyrics and what is meant by “Mamma come here quick, and bring me that licking stick”. A switch snapped off a tree ain’t edible.
That thing’s been a sex machine for over 20 years? I have machine envy!
That’s why machines can live so much longer than humans. They have a prime reproduction period of 20 years.
You don’t love me, you just see me as a peace of meat.
I wonder if they have sausage.
Ah, yes, the peace of meat. It passeth all understanding!
Visualize whirled peas
That just makes me dizzy!
LOL!
There’s snow peas for the wicked.
How bad do I have to be to get some?
I am prepared to tolerate dreadful puns if there will be snow peas at the end of it. Mmmmmm, snow peas…
The Japanese below says “DYNAMITE ROAST”. Weird name for a steak.
Do you know why I can’t post on the fail blog anymore?
hmmm… not if it’s packed with c-4 goodness.
Btw thanks for the translation…. one of those weird cross-overs where the kana sounds aren’t evident…
Maybe they’ve decided to try to tenderise cheap cuts by blowing them up?
Didn’t they do something like that on Mythbusters?
Possibly; they blow EVERYTHING up on the Mythbusters, eventually. If we keep watching for long enough, I suspect that one day Adam will blow himself up. Hopefully the high speed camera will capture his last moments, I’m sure his expression will be amusing, then we’ll get a shot of Jamie saying “Wow – I wasn’t expecting that.”
I shore would like to blow up Kari Byron. *sigh*
She’s 6 months pregnant. Someone else got there first.
Yup. I do believe she’s married, and for longer than six months. Dammit. But still, I think she’s a cutie… *sigh*
Agreed! If someone was to ask me what kind of woman I like, Kari’s a prime example.
But “DYNAMITE ROAST” is especially fitting if the steakhouse has a James Brown theme (even more fitting if it’s in the Japanese equivalent of all caps). He was “MR. DYNAMITE!” after all.
Wouldn’t be surprised if some of the other menu items were:
“SOUL BROTHER NO. 1! Pork Chops”
“THE GODFATHER OF SOUL Rump Roast”, with special “HOT PANTS! Sauce”
(or the “GODFATHER OF SOLE” if they serve seafood)
Side dish of “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PEES”
HHhhiiiiittttt MMmmmeee!!!!
And at the stir-fry, THE HARDEST WORKING CHEF IN OSAKA! who does the Camel Walk as he glides across the kitchen floor, basting and tenderizing with his Licking Stick until he Lets Himself Go into a Cold Sweat and Can’t Stand Himself no more.
Dude, Sex Machine FTW!
I have been there and the food is fantastic.
Sure it has a strange name, but it’s Dotonbori.
If you saw a restaurant called Sex Machine in Las Vegas or Atlantic City, you wouldn’t bat an eye.
No Engrish, no English Fail…
I saw the title and thought it must be some aspersion cast on the quality of the cooking; you bite into a forkful of dinner, then a great big piece of gristle pierces your gum, and you leap about shouting “AAAAAAAAAAAOW! AAAAAAAAAAAOW! AAAAAAAAAAAOW! AAAAAAAAAAAOW! AAAAAAAAAAAOW! AAAAAAAAAAAOW! AAAAAAAAAAAOW!”
Looking at it, I would say it is a prime Kobe beef trimmed standing rib roast or rib eye steak. Eating one of these will make someone question the priority they assigned to s#x in their lives. I have a 5kg choice cut of Hereford ribeye in cryovac in my fridge. My personal preference is porterhouse.
Secks comes a very distant second to a good cut of meat. And good cheese. Could it be a piece of wagyu beef? I’m looking at the marbling.
If you think meat and cheese is better, your man needs to stay on the scene longer. And/or better.
Priorities:
Food
Nap
S#x
Amen.
If you think meat and cheese are not better, you are shopping in the wrong places.
You shouldn’t wagyu beef in public!
Certainly not; if someone is offended, it might get the chop.
Kobe beef? Is that a new menu offering at the O’Neill Steakhouse?
Plus, isn’t a good cut of meat necessary for good secks?
It don’t have to be a big slab, just well prepared and very juicy (that’s what I’ve been told, but somebody may have been yanking my T-bone).
Only available at Bryant’s Shaq.
Who fooled that Japanese person to put that immature joke?!
I suppose we can give them points for spelling the thing right three times?
Okay so is it really so bad in Japan that there’s an illicit s&x or beef trade?
I would beware of girls who say “I malinate you long time.”
I don’t know. I’ve never been malinated. Might be fun, depending on the contents of the malinade.
Anyone else sometimes think there are translators out there somewhere laughing their asses off, because they write these on purpose?
My favorite item on the menu!
Main deliciously, other the trifles
Hahahaha, I hope this is engrish and not really supposed to be a sex machine…
AHAHAHAHAH WE LITERALLY SAW THIS YESTERDAY ON DOTONBURI GENIUS!!!!!!
Apply directly to forehead.