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Cheezburger Network Blog
first time 1st. Attention all shoppers, new product in aisle 4!!
OK. Sugar. Gelatin made from seaweeds. And doo-whut? This adds a new dimension to “go Krogering.”
I’m guessing this is from Hawaii. ‘Crack seed’ means dried fruit. Never heard of it referred to as ‘dried crack,’ but I’m guessing that’s what it is. Boring old dried fruit, maybe with li-hing-mui powder on i t.
For those who don’t know what “Kroger” is, think Safeway, or Tesco.
any clues for those who don’t have safeway and tesco?
Where are you from? That would help me find an appropriate example.
I’m from India. I’ve shopped at Safeway in the US (and Tesco too, once, in London). But I can’t tell whether Kroger is a store or an item you buy in a store! (Despite years of living in the US, there are many brands I don’t know since I’m generally an unenthusiastic shopper).
Kroger is a grocery store chain like the other two I mentioned. I believe it is more regional than national- most of the stores are located in the Southern/Southeastern US. “Go Krogering” was an ad campaign they had, making their name into a verb, or a participle if you want to get technical.
I was saying something along the lines of this adds a dimension to grocery store shopping. A bit like, say, Tesco having a “Heroin” isle.
The joke was too regional. It didn’t travel well outside of my home area, obviously.
I tend to dread shopping. To me, it’s not very exciting. I joked with a friend one time, “I almost wish this were a communist country, since there’d be only one brand of toilet paper and not 14, so I don’t have to spend a half hour making up my mind.” My friend looked at me strangely, and I reassured him I was just joking.
Ha ha, I share your shopping dread and hated buying shampoo in the US for exactly the same reason. I never lived in a communist country, but India was indeed a pretty closed economy through my childhood. Two kinds of cars, two brands of cheese, two state-run airlines, one state-run TV station, etc. Shopping took up little time, and there was plenty of time for other fun things
Thanks for the explanation about going Krogering!
Tesco might have a heroin “aisle,” unless of course it has lately become an archipelago.
It might get to be that way. The Taliban is protecting and encouraging the production of opium poppies/heroin, since it is a very good very stable source of incoming capital (and undermines the decadent infidels in the West), with huge returns on investment. I figure they need all the money they can get so they can keep the supplies of 7.62×39 rounds for the Kalashnikovs and RPGs flowing to continue their business in Afghanistan and Pakistan. Has to be more money than any fool Saudi construction company heir can guarantee; a bit less finite in amount. Wheee!
Me, cynical? Nnnaaaahhhh.
I was just joking about your mention of a “heroin isle.” Time was, actually, that an apothecary shop might have a heroin aisle. A little known fact is that heroin was developed by Bayer Pharmaceuticals, as a “non-addicting” substitute for morphine.
Like methadone was supposed to be a “non-addicting” substitute for heroin.
Apothecary shops probably had opium and opium derivatives all over the place. Didn’t know about Bayer and heroin. Did know about aspirin being made from coal tar.
There was actually a much higher percentage of the populace addicted to opiates at the turn of the 20th century than at the turn of the 21st. Opiates, cocaine, and marijuana were all legally available. Yeah, the pharmaceutical industry’s record with developing “non-addicting” substitutes is not very good. Miltown was developed as a “non-addicting” substitute for the barbiturates, and it turned out to be addicting, so Valium was developed as a “non-addicting” substitute for Miltown, and it turned out to be addicting, so Xanax was developed to have a lower risk of dependence, and yet it has come to be not only quite addictive but also an extremely popular drug of abuse. They did develop BuSpar as a non-addicting anti-anxiety medication, and this one actually did turn out to be non-addicting (so far, anyway). Only problem is it usually doesn’t work.
If I recall correctly, BuSpar usually tends to cause drowsiness or grogginess. Don’t know if I should go into detail as to how I know this.
Virtually every anti-anxiety agent or antidepressant, for that matter, can cause drowsiness or grogginess. In my clinical experience, BuSpar doesn’t cause these as much as the others, but it also works only occasionally. Most clinicians I have talked to about this have agreed with me, with a few exceptions.
hmmm….
Around Minnesota –
Cub Foods, Hyvee, Rainbow, Costco, Byerly’s (<-It apparently has carpeted floors).
A bit further south…
Winn Dixie, Piggly Wiggly
*insert regional grocery store names here*
The stores you mentioned we don’t have here in this part of Virginia, except Costco. They’re one of those who I believe have world conquest as the core their business model.
We have Sam’s Clubs, too, which you probably have, since the Walton family/Walmart wants to conquer the world too, and I think Sam’s Club was Walmart’s big box warehouse response to Costco. Kinda like “We can do the same thing in Arkansas that those folks near Seattle (well, Redmond), Washington can do!”
By the way, I worked at a Best Buy warehouse that’s around here, and since I was aware it’s based in the Twin Cities area when I used to watch “Mystery Science Theater 3000″, which was also based there, I noticed the show’s production company was named “Best Brains”. I figured that wasn’t coincidental, and was happy that I got that particular joke.
Actually here in the south, all Winn Dixies (that I know of) and most Piggly Wigglys closed down…
But that may just be Georgia, because we don’t have Jack-in-the-Box either and the rest of the states surrounding us have a hell of a lot of them.
No dried crack for me. I moisturise!
Doesn’t that make it hard to keep lit?
I’m trying to avoid fire in the hole!
agar-agar = jello
no
gelatine alternative for people who don’t want to put boiled boned in their jelly.
Who would want boiled bone in their jelly?
It’s better than boiled jelly in your bone!
Horses sure as hell don’t. “NNeeeiiiigggghhhh! Leave are keratin alone!”
My bad. I succumbed to the standard horse hoof joke… No horsie hooves in gelatin but skin, bones, and connective tissue are, and horsie connective tissue in glue.
Moo cow bones, moo cow skin, and pig hides, however… most common ingredients. FC nailed it, and in a much more humorous manner. Me, being in my Bill Nye/Mr. Wizard mode, just couldn’t help myself. And instead of laughs, everybody, except us country kids, are gonna retch.
I don’t care WHAT’S in Jell-o, it tastes good and I shall continue to tell myself it is chemical crap that falls in the same category as Twinkies.
That category being wondrous-tasting stuff that contains very few ingredients actually pronounceable by the human tongue.
“our”
Do we have a Dreadful Typo Hell Boogie Man running around? Dreadful Pun Hell Fairy needs to sit down and have a talk with him.
The poor DTH Fairies are all off on stress leave.
Why is bacteria culture in with the sugar and dried-crack? At least those look the same.
HAH! It’s mountain-dried seaweed, you douche!
Agar is indeed used for culturing bacteria, as anyone who has ever been in a biology lab will testify.
Not even that; you just have to know someone who is a biologist.
That said, agar-agar is a sterile gelatine powder, and is actually also used in cookery.
Well, it is sterile once you’ve formulated it and autoclaved it. Then it is no longer agar; the technical term for the molten solution after it comes out of the autoclave and before it is poured into petri dishes is “napalm”.
You’re really desperate if you’re mountin’ dried seaweed!
Better bring some gelatin!
Okay, they’ve mis-spelt craic.
Who wants dry craic? Much more fun with Guinness!
More of a real ale man, but I was thinking “dry, like my sense of humour” anyway.
I get you now. Just curious; Where do you live? I see “craic” as Irish, but the dry sense of humour is often an Australian trait. Maybe we get it from the Irish.
Perhaps the fact that your country/continent has a large percentage of desert clime has something to do with your liking of dry humor!
One stop shopping, everything you need all in once place.
ONE place >< I kill you, predictive text.
You mean “second guess you and get it wrong 9 times out of 10 text”.
Mountain Dried Seaweed? Good God how high are the tides there?
They feed the seaweed lots of Coors beer to give it a Rocky Mountain High.
Well, I suppose it has to be dried – you probably couldn’t smoke it if it was damp.
It needs to be dry to get rid of the solvents. Remember Richard Pryor setting himself on fire?
I’m thinking this is a totally legitimate label for pixie sticks.
Agar-agar means Jelly. It’s rhyming with sugar
“Mom, can you go to albertsons? Yeah, I want Crack”.