It’s like a madlib.
Braise in soy sauce the fish of. It is small to explode the fish. The domestic life fries the vegetables. Form dollar road hoof. Pig feet claw. The plum f*cks the vegetables burns the meat. Green pepper shredded meat. Snow vegetables shredded meat. Fish dog meat silk. Squeeze the vegetables shredded meat. White shredded meat in. Earthenware pot chicken. Curry chicken piece. The temple explodes the chicken cube. the chicken
Submitted by: Larry D via Engrish Funny Submissions
Hmmmmmmm… i think I’ll have that sixth one on the menu
It would be cruel to interrupt the plum when it’s doing that.
From the result, I think the vegetable must some kind of Naga chili pepper!
naught naughty plum
It does seem to have serious anger control issues doesn’t it?
i choose to explode the fish by myself for 20.00
Wow! It’s been a while since we had one this stunning! I notice “the domestic life fries the vegetables” doesn’t seem to have a price. This doesn’t surprise me, as my domestic life often leaves me feeling as fried as my work life, for which I actually get paid!
I’m guessing those are Home Fries.
Agreed, tho — this is amazing Engrish.
It’s so good, I keep reading the first word as “bruise”.
What is it with all the food abuse in Japanese restuarants? Some places rape their onions; this fine establishment bruises their fish. I bet the next place constantly tells the chicken that it’s worthless and fat and no one loves it.
That is the LEAST of the chicken’s worries… trust me.
I wonder how much “it” would cost if “it” were actually big enough to explode the fish. (And would that come with Explode Cake for dessert?)
I bet more people would attend religious services if temples and churches all treated their attendees to displays like exploding chicken cubes! In fact, I think blowing ANYTHING up would really enliven the average religious service…
Repairing the stained glass windows is a pane.
Uh-oh…
Dreadful Pun Fairy may be around to censer this…
It is a pane to repair the windows when they swing the censer too hard, too
That’s thurible
You could have the chicken cube make a nuclear explosion, if you reached critical mass.
He had trouble reading the mass because he used a baptismal font.
But he did his best. He was totally immersed in it, in fact.
He got too serious. I felt he spent the the whole service lectern us.
It is hard to read the baptist “drown the devil” font.
Aisle be laughing at this pun run for a while. I wouldn’t want to altar a thing!
I can censer presence, too. *waits for clonk*
I suppose…but D.P.F. always pyx her victims for hell.
AAAARGH! I’m incensed! I go offline overnight, and you all apse back into a pun run! My fears trans-substantiated, as usual… be very careful, you are all on the verger of being sent to Dreadful Pun Hell. Again.
Is that through the vestigial vicar’s voluminous vestibules?
No, he still haven’t recovered from the semtex scones.
I think you’re supposed to praise the lord, not braise the lord
Hey, you worship your way, I’ll worship mine! A little braised Body of Christ is simply divine!
It is refreshing to aer differences once in a while
Didn’t Christ say “Eat Me!” at the Last Supper?
I take it as gospel truth!
Yes, but he was cross-dresser
Besides, it’s a waste of energy not to utilize those tongues of fire.
Just don’t lay them on the buffet.
I’ve been to some buffets where the lukewarm dishes could have used a little Laying of Tongues!
I recall a novel (might have been by John Cowper Powys, might have been Weymouth Sands) in which a restaurant in a seaside town puts up a sign that a character misreads as “We Are Frying God.” Turns out to be “Cod.”
There was an Assembly of God church outside a rural KY town that I used to pass frequently, where the “G” had been printed ambiguously enough that at first glance it always looked like Cod. The image of fish lined up in pews singing a hymn hasn’t left my mind since, although that was more than 20 years ago.
Oh no, a Goodies flashback: Cod save the queen!
And Benny Hill as a vicar, who was served “the piece of cod that passeth all understanding.”
Never figured out how it got under all those that were standing…
The Church of the Latterday Mythbusters.
Congregation numbers have improved markedly since they started substituting black powder for incense, although the altar boys seem strangely reduced in number.
These priests are incorrigible! The old way of “blowing up altar boys” was bad enough!
Well, all we do, see, is we ban contraception and make people have more kids, to replenish the supply. Too easy.
We’ve blown through the stained glass repair budget. Next council meeting we need to reassign funds or find a sponsor and move the blessings and prayers outside.
Good news! Those weirdo evangelists a couple of streets across have agreed to sell us the blast shutters from one of their obsolete armageddon bunkers at below-cost, on the condition that we sound the warming siren before the next blessing of the host – apparently, some of their congregation heard the last one, and took to their hermetically sealed fallout shelters to wait for the final judgment, and are now incommunicado and not expected to come out until Himself himself knocks on the door to tell them which side won, and there’s no way to inform them that it was a false alarm. Anyway, we fit them on the *inside* of the windows, and we should be able to set off as many hosannahs as we like.
I’ve taken the membership recruiting funds and bought out all of the neighborhood firework stands unsold surpluses. Some were donated for the charitable tax write off and a promise that they could help set them off.
Roman candles and 48 tube baptismal fountains.
And possibly the kind of mortar that can re-locate the stonework, rather than re-point it!
Wherever this is from, they must be doing some interesting experiments in animal cross-breeding! Like inserting hawk genes into pigs to produce “pig feet claws.” Unless they also inserted some serious flavor genes as well, however, I’ll pass.
Don’t forget the silky fish dog.
No, silly, it’s not a silky fish dog! It’s a fish dog, the meat from which is very silky. In contrast to mutton, which is rather wooly.
‘It’s a silky Webfoot Spaniel! Or…a longcoated Aquatic Retriever!’
The snow vegetables pwned the meat!
But remember, there’s snow peas for the wicked!
Squeezing the vegetables shredded meat just seems like adding insult to injury.
Next time you want to wear something exclusive, wear something in silk made from the meat of a fish dog.
I hear white shredded meat is “in” this season.
But then the word from Milan is that the earthen wear pot chicken.
Fish Dog Meat Silk rocks! They’re my favorite band.
Man, that Plum is pretty hardcore. I wouldn’t mess with it if I were you.
Stay away from that Domestic Life too. He’s slippin’ the veggies a roofie before they meet Mr. Plum!
The Green Pepper’s pretty aggressive, too!
It is a $12 privilege to squeeze the vegetable’s shredded meat.
People who form dollars do often have to hoof it down the road. It’s not a good idea to spend too much counterfeit currency in one place.
It is small to explode the fish? Is this a Monty Python script?
“How long is it now?”
“That’s rather a personal question, sir!”
Watermark FAIL
I think the plum might’ve teamed up with the naughty tomatoes, and having burned the crayfish they’re now picking on the meat. What the hell are those GMO companies doing, crossing fruit trees with triffids?
lol. the temple explodes the chicken cube. imma eat that!
What’s a chicken cube? I’m confused!
It’s the companion cube you take with you if you’re really nervous about playing Portal.
Droll, you are on fire today!
Thanks! I was feeling a bit jaded, so I took a break from the site for a couple of days. Nice to know it helped.
Apparently, absence makes the wit grow sharper!
Items 7-9 sound like Ang Lee projects.
This is the best Engrish I’ve seen in a while .. and they’re all usually pretty damned good! I laughed so hard!
I would especially like to know more about the plum, but I have to admit I’m a bit scared.
Damn! The comment I made at the top belongs down here!
There’s a chinese character that can mean several things “to do” (f**k), “dry cook” (stir-fry), or “dried.” The translation programs sometimes pick f**k.
So, “The plum f**ks the vegetables burns the meat” probably means “spicy stir fried meat, vegetables, and plums”
We see it a lot on this site. It’s this:å¹² or looks very much like it. It’s listed on my Mac as GAN1, but so are several other Chinese characters.
To add to the confusion, I’ve seen it identified with different numbers that seem to mean different things. The more I learn about the Chinese language, the less I understand!
I’ll have the fish dog meat silk. Hold the silk, and the dog, and the meat please.
What’s with the silk? If they’ve crossed a dog-fish with a lawyer, I’ll take my chances with the crazy plum!
if you just read it all the way through…it’s like poetry.
line 6 is so vivid in its description. two distinctly separate actions, yet inseparable. they NEED each other.
only half would be lame!
The question is – would I be brave enough to eat there?
Very funny.
Be sure to have head safety while exploding chicken cubes using your temples.
A restaurant where you need to wear safety gear! Now that’s extreme dining!
Head carefulness. Definitely.
I was shocked to find out the most expensive meal on the menu was pig feet claw. It doesn’t sound that impressive as the temple explodes the chicken cube, after all.
Anyway, I can’t recall laughing this much at anything in my whole life. I was literally crying and I felt my blood pressure going up as I was reading this. Good shit.
Making sense of this menu PRICELESS.
There are some things money can’t buy…
Boy, plums sure are assholes; first they fuck the carrots, then they burn the pork.
It’s not Japanese. It’s Chinese, and badly translated based on sounds.
It is small to explode the fish – The word for fried and explode in Chinese are the same, zha.
The domestic life fries the vegetables – Eh not sure for this one. Maybe it’s Szechuan fried vegetables.
Form dollar road hoof – Probably means Blocks of venison thigh (Lu= Road, deer)
Pig feet claw – Pork trotters
The plum f*cks the vegetables burns the meat – I’ve no idea how f*cks comes into play, but it’s mei cai shao rou, or Preserved vegetabless and roasted meat.
Fish dog meat silk – The word for silk (si) is the same as shreds
The temple explodes the chicken cube – Gong bao ji ding, Kung Pow chicken. Gong is temple/palace.
Edit: The plum f*cks the vegetables burns the meat – Should be mei kan cai shao rou (kan is dried or f*cks in dialect]
I’m starting to wonder if Obama meant “Yes we kan”.
watching plums fucking veggies and burning meat is worth 20 bucks lol.
I burst out laughing at work and had to cleverly play it off that I was not wasting time. Too funny!
Clearly a version of rock-paper-scissors…
Plum f***s vegetables.
Vegetables burn meat.
Temple explodes chicken.
Simple! Let’s play.
pigs have claws in asia?
Give me one of everything.