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Attention please !!!
Do not throw to the toilet !!
Menstruation briefs !
Menstruation stopper !
Metal parts !
Plastic bags !
Submitted by: icelandweatherreport.com via Engrish Funny Submissions
Bathroon in a fitness centre in Iceland.
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Commas, not exclamations after the period!
Well, if you would notice, there are no periods anywhere in these instructions, ironically enough.
There are no periods because of the menstruation stoppers. Obviously.
WIN!
I aways use metal parts to take care of my periods
I did back in the days when we used typewriters.
to BALLS OF STEEL count as metal parts, cuz then i can’t use this toilet
Commas are not needed in this sentence !!
Your facts are false !
Laugh out Loud !
I usually make exclamations after the period, something along the lines of “Thank %&^* that’s over. For now.”
Oh wow! I thought you were a guy and that comment bewildered me for a second!
Wait…..are you a guy? Who gets periods? Even if you’re one who “gets” periods….that’d be amazing!!!
Nope, firmly of the femaleish persuasion. Not always happy about certain inescapable physiological realities, but it could be worse – I could have testosterone poisoning of the brain.
That’s what comes of eating too much Semen Bread.
Ha! Yeah, I’m right there with you!
Metal parts and plastic bags aren’t things I use for that occasion
Well, from now on, when your period catches you off guard, thing, “WWMD? As in, what would McGyver do? I wouldn’t throw metal parts and plastic bags out of consideration so quickly.
That “thing” was, of course, supposed to be “think.”
And here I thought you were calling Jennifer “thing” which seemed mghty unfriendly or conversely much too friendly.
Do you thing that’s the kind of think I do?
That’s the think I kind of do and not a thing I can do about it.
There’s surely a think you can do about it!
You think?
I thin gin.
Cogito ergo bibo.
Bibo ergo noncogito.
Oh, wait…they only don’t want you throwing it TO the toilet…flushing it down the toilet is still OK. Guess the janitor got tired of picking all that off the floor.
Yeah, just drop it in. Or better yet, hold it while you stick your hand deep into the water, and then release it.
Wait, there’s something that stops menstruation? I know a couple people who want to know about this.
Pregnancy works for a while…breast feeding afterwards if you want the effects to last a bit longer…
There are actually several things that stop menstruation, arranged in no particular order:
1. Menopause.
2. Hysterectomy.
3. Certain hormones (see your doctor, please, don’t get them off the street!) will limit or stop periods, including one new and popular one that is also a birth control pill (and, according to the commercial, is the greatest thing since sliced bread!).
4. Extreme weight loss. Severe anorexics and bulimics often stop menstruating. The weight you stop at varies from person to person, but just as an example, 5′3″ and 67 pounds worked quite nicely for one of my clients.
5. Marathon running can do it, although ultramarathons, distances past 26.2 miles at once, give you a better shot.
6. Other extreme sports, like triathlons, mountain climbing, cross-country bicycling can also do it, provided you have to expend a great deal of effort to do them, as in hours and hours of hot, sweaty panting.
7. Pregnancy, as was mentioned by Jennifer. Breast feeding seems to work for humans, and usually does for cats, but I had one cat who regularly went into heat long before the kittens were weaned, which resulted in about five litters we had to find homes for before we finally caught her in time to have the vet do the hysterectomy.
8. Sex change operation.
9. Death. This one has a 100% success rate.
1. I’m sick of waiting.
2. My spoilsport doctor will not agree to it unless there is a valid medical reason for major surgery; apparently “I’m never going to use it and it drives me nuts” is not a valid medical reason in his opinion. I HATE it when he gets all professional and reasonable on me.
3. Not an option for everybody, I’m afraid.
4. Sorry, anything that involves giving up cheese, chocolate or sourdough bread is not an option.
5. My orthopod told me to stop running. Besides, all that exercise is so sweaty and unseemly.
6. No, srsly, I loathe exercise.
7. See #2.
8. Possibly a bit drastic.
9. See #8.
What can I say? Roll on The Glorious Change!
#2 Male GYN docs are like auto mechanics without cars. I’m not sure a female doc would give you a different answer, but it might be worth a try…she might be more sympathetic.
I’ve done quite a few hysterectomy charts, and most of them are for serious issues like cancer…or intermediate issues like fibroids, endometriosis, anemia, or debilitating pain. A few seem to slip through that are just ‘heavy periods’ or ‘frequent periods’ (maybe the doc didn’t elaborate, or maybe s/he just kept it vague to help out the patient?).
But if you found a sympathetic doc, we’d miss your denials of PMS!!!!!
When my wife had a hysterectomy (for the minor medical problem that she was about to give birth to a nontuplet of fibroids), I thought it meant the end of PMS. WRONG!! PMS was soon replaced by, OHRTS (known around our house popularly as, “Oh, hurts!”, standing for “out of hormone replacement therapy syndrome”), eventually to be followed by MDSIDNHRTAMS, as in , “My doctor says I don’t need hormone replacement therapy any more syndrome.” You might notice that the last condition has the distinct advantage that it is omnipresent and eternal, much like God.
My Dr. will not give me hormone replacement. I take a combo of black cohosh and evening primrose oil. It has taken away almost all the symptoms, including the PMS. So take her gun away before she can reload and give her those pills quick! They take about a month to start working, so there’s no time to lose!!
Being the vitamin and supplement fanatic that I am, I have had my wife on every combination and form of black cohosh, primrose oil, those yams from somewhere, soy isoflavones, and anything else I could think of, all to no avail. However, since she has nearly died twice within the past year (not related to the supplements!), she has mellowed a bit.
Unlike your god, it is never forgiving.
You are, of course, entitled to your atheism, but you don’t have to unlike my god. My god is really a pretty likable character…
I merely wished to suggest that, whilst MDSIDNHRTAMS is omniscient and eternal like your god, your brand of god is a lot more forgiving than MDSIDNHRTAMS. How you get along with your own special imaginary friend is no concern of mine – but it is nice to know that you two are buddies.
I NOT HAS A MDSIDNHRTAMS!!!!!!
‘k
Besides, how do you know what brand of god I prefer? You’ve never seen me pick up a 6-pack of god, have you?
The characteristics you have described your god as having put me in mind of a laid-back, forgiving New Testament type of god, rather than a wrathful, kill-em-all-and-let-Me-sort-it-out Old Testament or Torah type of god, and being a minister rather than a rabbi or imam I’m inferring that you are of the Jesusite persuasion. I could be wrong, of course. Maybe you’ve started your own religion. It worked for L. Ron Hubbard, but I’m afraid that if you start talking about disembodied alien criminals, I am going to laugh out loud at you.
Hang on a minute – god comes in 6-packs now?
There is even a 20 bottle assorted sample box.
I buy god by the case, myself. Can’t have too much. Actually I am rather fond of that crazy Jew from Nazareth, but my perspective is decidedly interdenominational, nonjudgmental, and nondogmatic. My primary interest in this area, when I finish my PhD, is in spiritual guidance, but I plan to offer my services for ritual purposes to people more or less regardless of their own religious persuasion or lack thereof, with details tailored to the individual’s needs and desires. I try not to hold tightly to any particular conception of God for the simple reason that no matter how lofty my conception is, it cannot possibly come even close to the reality.
If you’re bulimic, of course, you don’t have to give up cheese, chocolate, or sourdough bread. You just have to avoid getting too possessive of them!
Eating food to enjoy it them intentionally throwing it up again is deeply offensive to me on many levels. Especially if we’re talking chocolate.
I never intentionally threw up, but one of the early withdrawal symptoms of physiological alcohol dependence is nausea, and so on numerous occasions when I took my morning “wake up” shot, it stayed down only momentarily. Of course, having just puked doesn’t do anything good for your nausea, so that makes the second attempt harder. But sooner or later, by God, I’d get that first shot to stay down long enough to settle down the shaking and the jangling nerves and the sweating and the nausea. There’s a profoundly personal example of overcoming reflexes by force of will, although it is certainly not one I’m proud of. Addiction does have a marvelous way of focusing the will and the mind, albeit towards its own destruction. Having the disease in recovery, as I have the past 20 years, however, has a marvelous way of focusing the will and the mind on maintaining my spiritual condition, for without this I would surely relapse, and I know full well that that way lies death. Didn’t mean to get all serious and preachy again! I’ll try to go back to being silly.
Yeah – it’s called menopause, and you still get the cramps. I’d rather have the metal parts…
Notlisteningnotlisteninglalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!
You’ll have to forgive her. She’s having a PMS.
I NOT HAS A PMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
took the words out of my mouth.
especially after my appointment today. um, yay biopsy? wait, that’s not right…
Toilets apparently just aren’t much good at playing catch! Of course, I can’t say I have a lot of experience playing catch with menstruation stoppers, metal parts, etc…
Don’t forget the plastic bags…
Would you catch a menstruation brief if it were thrown to you by a toilet? In fact, would you catch ANYTHING a toilet threw to you? I have caught overflows before, but only with a mop or a shop vac.
“Don’t throw menstruation briefs to the toilet!!” So I assume any underwear not blood-stained is fair game? What if you menstruate on a thong? Can you throw that to the toilet?
How else is one supposed to dispose of butt floss?
I assumed you used it for dental floss before disposing of it, killing two birds with one stone.
Maybe they mean “briefs” as in long dissertations on the subject…like….ummmm…..I can’t even begin to think of am example….:)
I never could figure out why the call them “briefs” when they’re anything but!
I NOT HAS A PMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
k.
Aha! Someone finally gets the Cheezburger reference! You make my PMS go away. Not that I had one to start with, of course.
The Captain’s avatar is just the perfect match for that lion’s expression too!
Hey, I’m gunna have a go at the link thingy…
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/08/03/funny-pictures-i-not-has-a-pms/
What in the name of all that is unholy could *possibly* warrant “your comment is awaiting moderation” in this posting? Is it the word “thingy”? Too suggestive?
No, comments with links are usually moderated. I think it’s to check that they don’t link to an inappropriate site.
k.
It is mad about you not doing an a href= thingy. they have to fix it.
But it worked immediately after I had put up the post – ‘puter is cleverer than me, she worked it out – and the moderation comment appeared much later.
I NOT HAS A POSTING MODERATION SNARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
‘k.
Love the pic, BTW.
She not has a PMS. Srsly, does she look like she has a PMS to you?
Srsly, shave the critters and it could be a picture of me and the missus, back in the days when she had PMS, instead of the current whatever-the-initials-were-that-were-too-long-to-remember-and-I’m-too-lazy-to-look-up.
menstruation briefs and METAL PARTS? Samus uses this toilet?
I wish Samus used my toilet.
Me too, she’s real hawt.
Also, the only reason i wouldn’t want to be a woman would be menstruation. Other than that, I could totally be a hot girl who picks up guys and is a total whore!
I think that you’d find that, once you were the female in that situation, there would be very little brute physical enjoyment in it for you.
You seem to be forgetting the immense brute physical enjoyment to be had by nine months of pregnancy and then childbirth.
Oh yes, the process that Robin Williams once described as “Thirty hours of sheer joy”.
And Carol Burnett described as, “Just take your lower lip and stretch it over the top of your head.”
You wouldn’t happen to be my old boyfriend would you?
I just noticed something: The caption to this photo says, “Bathroon in a fitness centre in Iceland.” So, is that an Engrish within an Engrish? A metaEngrish? Engrish-squared? (c:
A “bathroon” is a type of anime (cartoon) that features dramas taking place in bathrooms, with conflicts involving things like hot urine sprays and feces monsters. Bathroon collectors are a very select lot. There are many pirated versions, though, with fansubs and digisubs and wet sprockets of toad, so if you’re into that, be careful!
o_o What in the holy hell is a “menstruation brief”? They come bigger than maxi pads?!
Blech!
A Depends type undergarment?
(I’m curious too.)
Just depends on the rate of flow. Next step up is the menstruation unitard.
A bucket after that.
A very LARGE bucket. Like on a front loader.
Whats a ‘bathroon’? as in Bathroon in a fitness centre in Iceland. :p
Maybe they use different things in that part of the world
Yes, we generally use lambswool and moss to stop the monthly flow….don’t you?
We used to use corks. It was all in good fun until someone got hit in the eye…
Ping Pong Balls, ‘Priscilla, Queen of the Desert’.
Maybe it’s a typo. I’ve never flushed metal parts down a toilet, but I’ve had some MENTAL parts go there…
Something vaguely painful in the metal parts/menstruation-throwing connection. I guess those corrugated iron tampons are out of the question, huh?
Look up the Pear of Sorrow. If your mind goes down the road to iron tampons, this will be right up your alley.
Slightly off topic, when my French coworker left a Western blot protocol on his desk, it made me laugh because it said “tampon” all over the page. Then I found out that “tampon” means “buffer” in French (much less interesting than a lab protocol that actually involved tampons…)
So my question is, what do the French call tampons?
You don’t throw the metal tampon applicators in the toilet, you know!?!? For those ladies when their period gets really heavy, we have to use menstruation briefs, not just pads, and those peksy metal tampon applicators might just break the toilet.