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Cheezburger Network Blog
not first!
Whenever my dog stops on our walk, it is an EPA reportable incident. I scoop.
*clapping* good job! you aren’t one of those arrogant jerks that leave their dog’s poo everywhere!
Yes, well, rather large animals, your standard poodle.
So it is with sizing all over. The standard one they call “large,” the oversized one is “extra large,” and the biggest is the “Ginormous Humongous Tankard.”
The poodle is on the dividing line between Canis lupus familiaris, and Canis equus domesticus, the common house horse.
You shouldn’t keep your horse in a common house! At least let it have a house of some architectual distinction.
I call my dog the house horse because when he lies down across the room, he is lying across the room.
That’s what Pippi Longstockings did, the house she kept her horse in (or on the porch) wasn’t than common. (link)
It doesn’t even have to be YOUR pet’s!
This is so that people that don’t own pets can experience the joys of owning one. They bring it home then step on it in the middle of the night.
That is unbelievably cruel, bringing home a pet just to step on it in the middle of the night!!
I can reach into my coat pocket and pull out a plastic bag of fresh warm dog poop and my vet is happy to get it and thanks me. It is all relative to the needs of the recipient.
It’s extra disgusting that you keep it in your pocket.
I get the dog’s shots and tags renewed in winter and the stool sample should be fresh and warm for a live parasite check. If the sample is too old, the doctor has to put on an exam glove and retrieve a fresh sample.
I worked as vet tech for over 10 years. The sample has to be fresh but it doesn’t have to be kept warm. You can put the plastic bag of poo in a paper bag. But if keeping it close and warm makes you feel better I guess it doesn’t hurt anything.
After seeing Poo Story, I never want excrement to feel cold, alone, and unloved.
Thank you, I LOLed.
And I suppose you would, say, carry it between your teeth? Hold it in your hand and wave it at passers-by? I mean what are you supposed to do with a bag of dog doo??
did anybody see that the title is grammatically wrong? that is engrish in itself!
If you’re referring to the bring/take usage, it depends entirely upon the origin of the request. If it is the authorities requesting that you clean up after your pet, then it should be, “Please take a pet’s excrement home.” If instead this is a request from your family, that what your home really needs to make it complete is a nice pile of pet doo-doo, then, “Please bring a pet’s excrement home” is perfectly correct. But knowing the hazards of bringing house accessories home to the wife, I would suggest bringing home three or four piles, at least, and letting your wife select the one or two she likes. (There’s no way, of course, she will actually like all four! It is much more likely that all four will be wanting in some way, in which case you may have to go out shopping again for that perfect load of crap.)
Of course, now I notice I was talking about the caption, not the title, which I presume has been fixed since ShadowSplicer’s post, since I see nothing wrong with it.
ok, it was fixed. it said, ‘you wife will love it!’
It all depends on how many unexpected guests show up.
hahaha…you are right…there is a chance this is not Engrish, but perfect translation
Because other people don’t need to see the pet’s left behind.
or the right one
don’t forget the middle one
wait a minute! why are we talking about buttocks?!
It’s a joke from an old Engrish…something about flushing the toilet because people don’t need to see your left behind
oh. *gasps* OH.
You’re talking about buttocks, and you bring up the “middle one”? Is there a lot of inbreeding in your family?
I have with me Mr Arthur Frampton who…
Mr. Frampton, I understand that you – um – as it were…
Well let me put it another way. Erm, I believe
that whereas most people have – er – two… Two.
Tew. Just beat the third one with a hammer.
Dinner party?
Be the first in your neighborhood to host a Coprophagia Party! It’s for people with a deep commitment to recycling.
And a well suppressed gag reflex
Humans do have an amazing capacity to suppress reflexes if they have enough motivation.
JohnB, I know you’re a shrink. Please don’t reach into the memory archives for something to share! I haven’t recovered from the hentai postings.
I’ll try. But there are just so many of them in there, all just bursting to get out!!!
Oh noes! Not Poo Stories!
If the poo fits, wear it.
Dreadful Pun Hell fairy will throw it at you so you may wear it, you dreadful punner.
Just do not throw to the toilet!!
You have to wonder what would be going on in the newsroom that the anchor would be required to throw to the toilet. “And now, in breaking news, a custard shark has been spotted by toilet tourists in Shanghai. Our porcelain-fitting-on-the-spot is in the third cubicle from the left… so, Toilet, can you tell us what has happened since the custard shark was first spotted?”
Well, the translation is *very literal*. I suspect that the idiom of “Give a hoot, don’t pollute” is just as lost on the Japanese as “Take your pet poo home” is on most English speakers.
I can see that being rendered into Japanese meaning something like, “Make owl noises that do not contain effluvium and other baleful biology.”
The only engrish fail is the apostrophe in pet’s. Otherwise its a valid sentence, and almost certainly what they mean. In quite a few countries fouling on public property is forbidden, and I assume here they insist its disposed of at your own residence.
There’s nothing wrong with “pet’s,” since “pet’s” is the possessive form of “pet.” So, “Bring a pet’s excrement home” is grammatically incorrect only insofar as the “bring” is used instead of “take,” as I discussed above. However, the Engrish of it is particularly the “a” instead of “your,” which to a native speaker suggests any old pet’s excrement will do. And when combined with the inappropriate “bring,” it ends up sounding like a food commercial! “Engrish” is more than just about syntax and grammar. I won’t get into the reasons (because I’m tired of doing it!), but you won’t have to look very far back into the archives if you really want to find it.
No, it’s not!
The “Wish” heading is also rather Engrishy, since we don’t tend to use “wish” in this kind of situation.
There are countries where you are supposed to pick up your dogs shit?!
(I didn’t write “dog’s” because you don’t understand what it means)
Whatever happend to “Say it with flowers”?
This the second step in getting the flowers – manure fertilizer for the seeds you planted. It just takes a few weeks to get the flowers after that.
Until then, you can make do* with Animal Colon.
*pun intended.
Flowers just can’t express the kind of feelings that a pile of crap conveys.
… especially on the doormat in a burning paper bag!
Exactly! What message would be conveyed by a bag of burning flowers left on your doorstep?
Dreadful Pun Hell fairy saw what you did there.
It wasn’t me! It was the dog.
That’s what they all say!
It’s like a door gift from mother nature. No really! It’s all yours!
Mother Nature obviously has a warped sense of humor! Not just that, but think about it. Why and how did she come up with tooth decay? Presbyopia? Even secks, for God’s sake! Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy secks, but however did she come up with that as a means of procreation???
The theory goes that by rearranging your genome constantly, you make life much more difficult for microbial parasites. It’s a strategy that seems to work for things from bacteria to primates.
On the whole, though, there are a lot of things that could be presented as evidence for a theory of Incompetent Design.
Geez, you should hear my shoulder orthopod get started on What Is Wrong With The Human Shoulder Joint For What Humans Do With It And I Could Design It Much Better – he can go for 5 minutes solid without repeating himself. Only natural, I suppose, what with surgeons supposedly thinking that they are gods.
Well, one merely has to have a bit of back trouble (as I have, off and on, more and more on than off) for the past 20 years, to realize that stacking the vertebrae up in a vertical column was really not the best idea, either. I have, however, so far declined all offers by eager surgeons to cut on me.
God, who as you know is a close personal friend of mine, sometimes has the delusion that he’s a surgeon. That crazy old coot!
How can they get it this close… and yet so VERY far off…
The Joy Of Engrish.
The literal translation is closer to “Pet excrement, please return home”. It’s like a request direct at whatever a pet leaves behind.
And that would NOT be Engrish….
OMFG I HAVE THAT PHOTO O_O
isnt this in front of AMPM in roppongi o__o….i lived in the apartment like…literally a few seconds away
You could’ve texted me instead of this…
That’s actually an accurate translation, and I’m not even kidding. Apparently, when I was in Japan, I’d see “litter” instead of the word “crap” like on the sign posted here.
Yes, recieving pet excrement has always been my wish… XD