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Cheezburger Network Blog
Decaffeinated green tea comes from wheat?
No, It comes from my ass.
As, apparently, do your comments.
WIN!
Isn’t it wonderful to have a real working brain! Loved this! One of the many joys of sobriety.
Do you want lemon grass or sugar cane?
Here we go alright. Drink that stuff and you’ll go to the restroom all day long.
In that case, I’ll have some low-fat Mike instead.
win
Second!!!! (Just kidding
) Apparently, PoodleGroomer isn’t as obsessed with being ‘first’ as a lot of posters on here are.
Many of us regulars get to go first a few times. As I once observed, it is a rare privilege, kind of like being the first skiier on a slope, making a track in virgin territory. But commenting on it, unless the comment is extremely clever, is like laying a track of poop in the virgin snow. And like poop, one generally wants to pay attention to it as little as possible.
It’s not happened for a while now, but I have made some ordinal comments that I was able to work the word “first” into.
I really wouldn’t know WHAT to think if I got this as a fortune! I believe my wife would take it as a cue to commit harakiri.
Wait – has anyone heard of fatty tea? How can it be anything but low fat?
This is surprisingly reminiscent of “low fat salsa”…
No, I haven’t heard of fatty tea. However, I live in Kentucky, a place where green beans are only considered to be cooked correctly if they have been first canned and then boiled for hours while soaking in pork fat. So I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the possibility.
Ohio’s women of the 50’s did much the same to their beans.
In southern Ohio, they still do!
Tea in Tibet is made with yak butter.
Thanks, bluejade! I had a vague recollection that some group of people somewhere put grease in their tea. They’re welcome to it. I don’t even like cream in mine!
Well, Tibetans have been known to put yak butter in tea, and Brits and Indians from India have been known to put in fatty milk if not cream. But of itself, tea has almost no fat.
As a diabetic, I’ve found that fat causes fewer troubles for me than carbohydrates, and some dieters would agree, so the whole low-fat mania seems increasingly silly to me. No-fat refried beans from a can… oh, they’re so bad compared with refried beans made with real lard.
Probably tastes like chicken, too.
Or perhaps tit.
Can’t be. tit is for tat and tat doesn’t strike me as a fan of whole wheat green tea.
I don’t know about tat…
Tastes like Sexus!
Sexus in Texas! You know, everything’s bigger down there…
Especially the bragging!
got your fiber and your antioxidants all in one.
I GOT THAT ONE ONCE!
Ah i was gonna submit it but ya beat me to it.
Great now my fortune cookies are giving me dieting advice >_<
Everyone is giving us dieting advice anymore. Even my cats have been known to place their paws firmly on freezer door as I try to open it for ice cream.
its a haiku!!
Not quite finished, though. How about:
Here we go. Low fat,
Eat whole wheat, and drink green tea.
Life sucks a big one.
I thought that “tea” made out of wheat was called “postum”.
It’s more of a “coffee” made from wheat. And in my opinion, it tastes rather like burnt wheat. I’ll have what Juan Valdez is having!
Here we go, here we go, here we go,
Here we go, here we go, here we go-o-o-o-o-o-o…
Okay, everyone, follow dr handle. She seems to know where we’re going or at least that we are going.
Trust her, she’s a doctor…
Is it just me or are we actually just circling the bowl?
It doesn’t matter doesit, since we’re going?
Hooray!! My first picture to be published on the main page. Anyway, the feaky thing is that my fortune cookie didn’t even have a fortune in it at all. Then my girlfriend cracks her open and gets this…
*her’s open
Wholey crap I fail… *hers open!!!!
Don’t worry too much about little gaffes like that. I’ve never been called on mine. People are nice about that. It’s only deliberate or rude comments that get peoples’ goats. What they do with the goats after that, I’m sure I don’t know. *waggles eyebrows, clenches cigar between teeth and stalks off stage in a bent-knee crouch*
I do get on people sometimes for minor gaffes, but only in the spirit of making LOLZ. I reserve my truly snarky comments for the rude and obnoxious.
Oh my goodness. I got that fortune the other day!!! Really.
I got this same fortune once. Made me laugh for days. My brother and I started chanting it cheerleader-style, because we’re awkward like that. Yeah.
Awkward cheerleaders? The routines would be a real hoot to watch!
Um, this is not an error. It’s a funny joke that nobody seems to get. Duh.
I think the fortune is trying to get us to eat better.
I have gotten many like that lately, they seem to be leaning toward self help now.
This site is Engrish Funny. And most of us care less about it being Engrish than it being funny.
I swear, I got this same fortune! We’re linked somehow, now. It made me laugh so hard at that restaurant, the waiters probably thought I was on something. But I saw this and immediately thought how weird it was that this exists twice…
Well, now that I actually read the comments, I see that I’m now a member of a well-organized, random and secret club.
Wow! Did you really think those cookie fortunes were all different? You need to come down from the sky and find out how things work here on Earth.
Don’t be mean – celestiial will just cloud up and cry!
I’ve actually had this fortune before lol
And did it bring you low fat, whole wheat green tea?
Green tea is really a very good for health so only drink green tea and enjoy the morning time..
Wow! I’ve actually had the same fortune in my cookie before, too!
I like that idea but coudn’t it be a larger selection. ;(