« Previous It has been getting a bit loud. Who’d thought meat would moo? | He does the dish. It’s a good balance Next »
» Glory! 170 Comment
-
Your Yacks Currently
bluejade on Young men can be so shall… dr handle on Young men can be so shall… dr handle on Young men can be so shall… bluejade on Lysol for me! dr handle on It’s the bestest ev… dr handle on It’s the bestest ev… dr handle on It’s the bestest ev… bluejade on But I thought we were friends… bluejade on It’s the bestest ev… leila on But I thought we were friends… 
Cheezburger Network Blog
Omg, im sry i hve to…. first
There’s always a choice. And there is no point in calling on God now, since He’s lying there, filleted.
Not necessarily. If god was able to take Adam’s rib and make Eve, with Adam none the worse for wear, surely we can produce “fillet of God” and still have enough God left over and then some.
Could even be an oblique reference to the loaves and fishes…
There was plenty to go around in James Morrow’s “Towing Jehovah”.
Drat drat drat someone else mentioned that book before me drat drat drat! Well done, though. (Was it wrong of me to giggle at the line “We commend You unto Yourself”?)
Win
,
.
you made my day
Moho is a genus of extinct birds in the Hawaiian bird family, Mohoidae, that were endemic to the Hawaiian Islands. Members of the genus are known as ʻŌʻō in the Hawaiian language. Their plumage was generally striking glossy black; some species had yellowish axillary tufts and other black outer feathers. Most of these species became extinct by habitat loss and by extensive hunting because their plumage were used for the creation of precious ʻaʻahu aliʻi (robes) and ʻahu ʻula (capes) for aliʻi (Hawaiian nobility). The Kauaʻi ʻŌʻō was the last species of this genus to become extinct, probably a victim of avian malaria.
Until recently, the birds in this genus were thought to belong to the family Meliphagidae (honeyeaters) because they looked and acted so similar to members of that family, including many morphological details. A 2008 study argued, on the basis of a phylogenetic analysis of DNA from museum specimens, that the genera Moho and Chaetoptila do not belong to the Meliphagidae but instead belong to a group that includes the waxwings and the Palmchat; they appear especially close to the silky-flycatchers. The authors proposed a family, Mohoidae, for these two extinct genera.
“Catching him was hard!”
THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!!!
-_-” you crazy office fanatic
Catching him hard was even harder! He is getting on in years…
He is, after all, several thousand years old now. Give the bloke a break.
Wonder if they make Viagra in dosage strengths sufficient for God…
As The Bible says, early in Genesis, “God called the firmament heaven”, so I think we can assume He’s looking after His firmament.
Is his firmament permanent? After four hours, he’d need a doctor! And what doctor would take on God as a patient? Think of the liability issues!
The problem should be resolved when Gabriel blows his horn.
There are numerous mathematically equivalent formulations of quantum mechanics. One of the oldest and most commonly used formulations is the transformation theory proposed by Cambridge theoretical physicist Paul Dirac, which unifies and generalizes the two earliest formulations of quantum mechanics, matrix mechanics (invented by Werner Heisenberg[19])[20] and wave mechanics (invented by Erwin Schrödinger[21]).
In this formulation, the instantaneous state of a quantum system encodes the probabilities of its measurable properties, or “observables”. Examples of observables include energy, position, momentum, and angular momentum. Observables can be either continuous (e.g., the position of a particle) or discrete (e.g., the energy of an electron bound to a hydrogen atom).[22]
Generally, quantum mechanics does not assign definite values to observables. Instead, it makes predictions using probability distributions; that is, the probability of obtaining possible outcomes from measuring an observable. Oftentimes these results are skewed by many causes, such as dense probability clouds[23] or quantum state nuclear attraction.[24][25] Naturally, these probabilities will depend on the quantum state at the “instant” of the measurement. Hence, uncertainty is involved in the value. There are, however, certain states that are associated with a definite value of a particular observable. These are known as “eigenstates” of the observable (“eigen” can be roughly translated from German as inherent or as a characteristic[26]). In the everyday world, it is natural and intuitive to think of everything (every observable) as being in an eigenstate. Everything appears to have a definite position, a definite momentum, a definite energy, and a definite time of occurrence. However, quantum mechanics does not pinpoint the exact values of a particle for its position and momentum (since they are conjugate pairs) or its energy and time (since they too are conjugate pairs); rather, it only provides a range of probabilities of where that particle might be given its momentum and momentum probability. Therefore, it is helpful to use different words to describe states having uncertain values and states having definite values (eigenstate).
For example, consider a free particle. In quantum mechanics, there is wave-particle duality so the properties of the particle can be described as the properties of a wave. Therefore, its quantum state can be represented as a wave of arbitrary shape and extending over space as a wave function. The position and momentum of the particle are observables. The Uncertainty Principle states that both the position and the momentum cannot simultaneously be measured with full precision at the same time. However, one can measure the position alone of a moving free particle creating an eigenstate of position with a wavefunction that is very large (a Dirac delta) at a particular position x and zero everywhere else. If one performs a position measurement on such a wavefunction, the result x will be obtained with 100% probability (full certainty). This is called an eigenstate of position (mathematically more precise: a generalized position eigenstate (eigendistribution)). If the particle is in an eigenstate of position then its momentum is completely unknown. On the other hand, if the particle is in an eigenstate of momentum then its position is completely unknown. [27] In an eigenstate of momentum having a plane wave form, it can be shown that the wavelength is equal to h/p, where h is Planck’s constant and p is the momentum of the eigenstate.[28]
Usually, a system will not be in an eigenstate of the observable we are interested in. However, if one measures the observable, the wavefunction will instantaneously be an eigenstate (or generalized eigenstate) of that observable. This process is known as wavefunction collapse, a debatable process.[29] It involves expanding the system under study to include the measurement device. If one knows the corresponding wave function at the instant before the measurement, one will be able to compute the probability of collapsing into each of the possible eigenstates. For example, the free particle in the previous example will usually have a wavefunction that is a wave packet centered around some mean position x0, neither an eigenstate of position nor of momentum. When one measures the position of the particle, it is impossible to predict with certainty the result.[30] It is probable, but not certain, that it will be near x0, where the amplitude of the wave function is large. After the measurement is performed, having obtained some result x, the wave function collapses into a position eigenstate centered at x.[31]
Wave functions can change as time progresses. An equation known as the Schrödinger equation describes how wave functions change in time, a role similar to Newton’s second law in classical mechanics. The Schrödinger equation, applied to the aforementioned example of the free particle, predicts that the center of a wave packet will move through space at a constant velocity, like a classical particle with no forces acting on it. However, the wave packet will also spread out as time progresses, which means that the position becomes more uncertain. This also has the effect of turning position eigenstates (which can be thought of as infinitely sharp wave packets) into broadened wave packets that are no longer position eigenstates.[32] Some wave functions produce probability distributions that are constant or independent of time, such as when in a stationary state of constant energy, time drops out of the absolute square of the wave function. Many systems that are treated dynamically in classical mechanics are described by such “static” wave functions. For example, a single electron in an unexcited atom is pictured classically as a particle moving in a circular trajectory around the atomic nucleus, whereas in quantum mechanics it is described by a static, spherically symmetric wavefunction surrounding the nucleus (Fig. 1). (Note that only the lowest angular momentum states, labeled s, are spherically symmetric).[33]
The time evolution of wave functions is deterministic in the sense that, given a wavefunction at an initial time, it makes a definite prediction of what the wavefunction will be at any later time.[34] During a measurement, the change of the wavefunction into another one is not deterministic, but rather unpredictable, i.e., random. A time-evolution simulation can be seen here.[1]
The probabilistic nature of quantum mechanics thus stems from the act of measurement. This is one of the most difficult aspects of quantum systems to understand. It was the central topic in the famous Bohr-Einstein debates, in which the two scientists attempted to clarify these fundamental principles by way of thought experiments. In the decades after the formulation of quantum mechanics, the question of what constitutes a “measurement” has been extensively studied. Interpretations of quantum mechanics have been formulated to do away with the concept of “wavefunction collapse”; see, for example, the relative state interpretation. The basic idea is that when a quantum system interacts with a measuring apparatus, their respective wavefunctions become entangled, so that the original quantum system ceases to exist as an independent entity. For details, see the article on measurement in quantum mechanics.[35]
Source: wiki
This is taking the standard response to firsters a bit far, especially since the firster had already been dealt with two hours earlier not only by the standard method, but by a rebuttal by me. I enjoy quantum mechanics just fine, but I suspect most people don’t, and there was no interesting new information there for me.
Shouldn’t you quote something that’s been peer-reviewed?
Yes, please explain to us in detail how this research was conducted, because it just doesn’t seem right to me. I have a cousin who is a quantum mechanic.
“Well, we have to replace the quark-bearing. That spare is quite expensive.”
DAMN YOU!!!! YOU DO THIS FRICKIN’ EVERYWHERE I LOOK! EHW2 BLASTS YOU INTO THE NEXT DIMENSION!
tl;dr
copypasta fail
You can copy pasta, but the sauce recipe is a secret.
If you really want to cop a pasta feel, do it before we add the sauce.
Number of people who read that: maybe one
Knowing that idiot thinks he’s accomplished something:Priceless.
Okay, stop… whats the word… crap… flaming me it was my first time doing that, promise never again.
i think rofl’s comment was directed at Parry – no need to feel quite so bad. A short “First” comment is a momentary lapse of judgement – wasting everyones screenspace with regurgitated quantum mechanics wiki material is inexcusable…
God would forgive you, but he’s dead.
I vote JohnB for new god. All who agree post a comment.
I will be very sad if I have to stop believing in the existence of John, but if he is elected god I will of course bow to the majority decision.
WOOT GO JOHN!
I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Just look at what horrors people have done in the name of their gods in the past.
does he come in filet?
I never have, but I could try it…
Catch it at your local theater! JohnB starring in “American Filet”.
“CoStarring Billy Bass”
I’d rather have Sam Bass. Then at least we could probably escape.
No! It has to be KIRA! KIRA! All Hail KIRA!
*for those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about…watch Death Note*
Note:
“Pink Puma – painful death by fail”
oh you damn blog cloggers are the bane of these sites
Better step back son
Give the man some filleting space
You know this might get messy
God filleter’s on the case
Re: your tag, shouldn’t you be using a hammer? And wouldn’t it get a lot messier.
I guess the fish symbol used by Christians had more literal truth behind it than I realized.
Yeah, now it all makes perfect sense.
Christians are deophagists!
…. in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Fillet. Ramen. OK, chow down!
I feel a funpunrun coming along
Omg, is that jim playing the Bass guitar?
Wouldn’t that be theophagists?
Hmmm, that would imply to my that they eat theologians. I thought that the putting-missionaries-in-a-big-cooking-pot thing was just a cartoon stereotype, but I could be wrong.
wow! i guess the comment board has ratings now. sick! :O
I guess they disappeared, due to popular demand.
Or should I say, unpopular demand.
We all prayed that the rating option would go away and GOD has answered.
You sure it wasn’t actually Cod who did it?
There was definitely something fishy about those ratings.
I’m sure everyone’s haddock with the whole idea.
I think this particular pun run is all fished out.
inb4 “Holy Fillet!”
American fishermen find God. Product of USA, Ocean Caught!
I guess it was only a matter of time before someone landed The Big One.
Communion wafers will now be replaced with fish sticks.
Do you like Fish Sticks?
Communion wafers aren’t exactly hard to beat in the taste department.
Starsky made a South Park reference, John. Say “fish sticks” repeatedly as fast as you can.
Sorry, I don’t grok South Park (sorry, it’s just one of those generational things, I think, like hip hop), and all I get when I say “fish sticks” repeatedly fast is gibberish.
Oh my Kenny! They killed God! You bastards!
I’m not sure it’s a generational thing, Brother John. I’m 2 or 3 years older than you, and South Park often gives me some good laughs, as well as food for thought. Some could say I’m going through my second childhood, but I haven’t finished with the first one yet.
I guess too many of the kids I talked to who liked South Park had also liked Beavis & Butthead, which I had given several chances before I gave up on. So what is supposed to happen when you way fish sticks really fast?
Ima mother ****ing gay fish – Kanye West.
i luv that
Unfortunately, my husband does a frighteningly convincing Cornholio impression.
So that’s where the Cornholio thing comes from. No wonder I didn’t get it.
Cornholio, king of Bungholio, forever looking for teepee (TP?) for his bunghole. It’s poignant, really.
That happened to be the episode that caused me to give up on Beavis & Butthead!
So he wasn’t looking for a conical tent made of animal skins for his bunghole? I’m so disappointed.
No, he was on a quest for toilet paper, one which consumed most of the episode. I found the plot to be less than engaging.
Hark, the herring angels sing.
AAAARGH! I shall inform Dreadful Christmas Carol Pun fairy of your ghastly effort immediately. Don’t be surprised if you hear the surreptitious flutter of little wings sneaking up on you…
And I thought you would come up with a perfect second line, since I pondered most of the day and came up empty! Harrumph!
“Glory to the newborn ling!” ?
♫ Oh crumb all ye faithful…♫
God is love, I love fish, fish is God… wait, that’s supposed to be Ray Charles…
information overload!!
Yay Richard Jeni!
Don’t forget George Burns, who was also God. As was Eric Clapton.
It’s sacri-licious!
Isn’t it “sacri-delicious”?
How about “de-ligious”?
Sign says “Ocean Catch” so the GOD is probably just Neptune or Poseidon.
As long as it’s not Cthulhu.
I don’t really like seafood.
Or both….?
which is same go but i doubt he was catch in the mediterranean sea.
Thank you for pointing that out. For all we know, it could have been “Allah”
or “Shiva” or something. Mmmm! Six arms of delicious!
And I am aware I probably mixed up two deities. Oh well…
Neptuna Sushi.
Braise The Lord And Pass The Tartar Sauce!!
I Would Expect Something Like God Fillet To Cost Much More Than 5.99 lb.
Wait, Is It Farmed, Or Wild Caught??
If God did not exist, we would be obliged to farm him.
There is an absolutely fascinating documentary from the 50’s on voodoo in Haiti. It’s called “Divine Horsemen,” and it explains, to me at least, the relationship between worship and the deity… the deity being created by the need in the culture, and the deity’s obligation to deliver, or lose it’s believers. Apparently, voodoo is very dynamic at creating deities for specific needs.
I mean “its’.”
No you didn’t. “Its” with no apostrophe is the proper possessive pronoun. “It’s” is only a contraction for “it is,” and it’s NEVER anything else. “Its’” is a form that does not exist. Mine, hers, his, yours, ours, theirs, its. No apostrophes are ever necessary for showing possession for pronouns. (And apostrophes are RARELY, if ever, used to make plurals!!!)
Thanks, I feel better now… I guess.
Sorry. Precision in language is one of my compulsivities, which is why, I guess, I find this site so hilarious.
The premise of “Small Gods” (by His Pratchettness) in a nutshell. Look what happened to poor old Om – he was reduced to a single person who really believed in him, and was reduced to incarnating as a tortoise.
It takes so long to reply because of school, work and fits of laughter.
Where is ur cod nao?
Oh please, do I look like someone who cares what cod thinks?
Well, at least you believe in the existence of cod!
THERE IS NO COD.
The atheist network: “We don’t believe there’s a Cod that loves us and cares for our needs.
So send us some money so we can… spread the good news.”
Go watch the “Hellraiser” film that quote was bastardised from, and see what you think.
I did see it. I don’t remember thinking much, except WHY THE F*CK DOES THAT GUY HAVE ALL THOSE NAILS IN HIS HEAD????
Cod save the Queen! (Goodies flashback.)
This proves it . There was a god , now he’s dead
Or vanished in a puff of logic?
Would that also be fillet of soul? Or is that when basement kitty buys you off?
If we still worshipped the sun as God, as many of the ancients did, then this would clearly be fillet of Sol.
Caught on a nuclear fishin’ line, no doubt.
I think you’re confusing your fission with fusion. Or confessing your fusion with fishin’. Or something.
I was wondering how long I would get away with that pun. Exactly 10 hours- not bad, with so many knowledgeable people on the site. I expected some comment about nuclear confusion.
I’da caught it earlier, but unfortunately my employer does require actual work from me, a little too often in my estimation. But it balances out, since my production is a little too low in their estimation.
Nuclear confusion – is that when two different isotopes join together? (I only did a year of physics at uni.)
i did 6 years! you dont need isotopes, just subatomic particles
Was your 6-year sentence due to a quark of justice?
Is that anything like filet gumbo?
Thou cannot serve God and Gammon.
You mean Ganon?
Facepalm!
Thou cannot serve Cod and Gammon.
*DPH Fairy faints*
The Cod of Small Fins
*DPH’s nose starts to bleed*
If you serve it aalong with a nice Chardonnay, I think you could get away with it.
COD 6: Battles of the Sea
Bow to the diet deity.
I’ll give it the bow, but it’ll have to find its own arrows!
NOOOOOO the horror:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8219427.stm
If this is really going to work, this site will lose a lot of content.
One more reason for us to gather ye lolz while ye may…
AW, SH!T!
NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! D:
Don’t sweat it, you guys. It will be fine, just fine. Remember, you can’t legislate literacy.
Typical dictatorship thinking. If China was run by capitalists, someone there would have thought up a way to make money from it, as is happening here.
Now, if some Chinese companies cared to put some really creative Chinglish on their product labels, they may start something really interesting!
If it were going to work it would have already – they tried the same blitz prior to the olympics and look where it got them… I recall some pretty funny engrish lawn signs FROM the olympics…
If the site loses content, that is likely to cause a lot of discontent.
Ohh, you are right. What will we do with all this free time.
OH MY COD! That fish was divine!
hey so who is the head cheese here?
What do you mean?
Well, as a former deli professional I can tell you that headcheese is a meat product that has gelatin in which are fixed little pieces of meat, specifically from calves’ tongues and pork snouts. So if that description fits anyone here, please identify yourself.
Wow, you went from headcheese to being a head doctor? That gives me hope that someday, I too, shall find a real job!
There are days when I long for headcheese, as grotesque as it was to slice up…
That gives me a head-ache.
Thing that pisses me off is that they are all out of god.And if the monotheistic belief system is correct there is no chance for seconds.
Fortunately, even if there is only one God, there is still an infinite supply.
You mean like loaves and fish-esque crap?I guess you’ve got a point.
It’s this kind of thinking that leads to over-exploitation of the ocean, people!!
Actually, Jesus proved to be quite the conservationist. He manaaged to feed thousands on a few fish and loaves! Now if we could just get him to start passing out oil…
Already done, Hanukah. Well, somebody did it… at least that’s the story.
At least according to my Bible, Jesus was not there at the first Hanukah. But whoever was responsible would definitely be helpful to have around today!
It’s just occurred to me that this could be someone’s attempt to get back to the Latin mass: In nomine Patri et fillet et spiritus sanctos, amen.
Ah, so the hand of Mel Gibson may be behind this…
This is like Eucharist, fully realized.
According to Roman Catholic doctrine, the Eucharist is already fully realized, since the bread and wine are “transubstantiated” into the actual body and blood of Christ. It never seemed to me that it tasted what I would expect flesh and blood to taste like, but I can’t say that I ever expected Jesus to taste like fish, either.
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Jesus. (I’m sure I’ve done that gag before, but I’m going to burn in hell anyway, so why not?)
Nietzsche’s Zarathustra was right– God is dead.
He failed to mention he had been fileted and end up in a supermarket.
I always knew Nietzsche’s philosophy was suspect.
All philosophy is suspect. If philosophy worked, then there would be at least two philosophers who came up with the same answers. Since they never agree with one another, why should we believe any of them?
As if it weren’t enough he hung on a cross.
Say, in 3 days that fish will be gone! Just like the first time except without having a humungus stone to role aside!
Someone stop me! It’s like a bad amateur comedy night, and I’m on stage…
You just flew in from the coast, and boy, are your arms tired!
“Who was that fillet I saw you with last night?”
it tastes like chicken
THANK COD ALMIGHTY! OUR FREE FAT CATCH!
Tastes heavenly!
Damn… I guess Nietzsche was right