$100 for that chair? Highway robbery!
Any Chair May Fell
FOR YOUR SAFTY
ALL LEGS MUST ON FLOOR
WHO BREAK WHO PAY
the cost to replace our chair is $100/each
Submitted by: Angel via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Cheezburger Network Blog
first! i’ve always wanted to do that sorry by the way if it annoys you. what does safty mean?
Loss of Mechanical Integrity. The loss of strength, impact resistance, and mechanical integrity of plastics exposed to UV radiation is well known. These changes in bulk mechanical properties reflect polymer chain scission ( and/or cross linking) as a result of photodegradation. Changes in solution viscosity and the gel permeation characteristics of polymers have been used (Torikai et.al., 1993) to establish molecular changes during photodegradation.
With polyethylene and polypropylene, the loss of useful tensile properties on exposure to solar radiation is a particular concern. These are used extensively in agricultural mulch films, greenhouse films, plastic pipes, and outdoor furniture. Polyethylene films exposed to solar UV-B radiation readily lose their extensibility and strength (Hamid et al. 1991, 1995) as well as their average molecular weight (Andrady et. al., 1993). General features of the mechanism of photodegradation in both polyethylene and polypropylene is fairly well understood (Allen, 1983: Rabek, 1995). The mechanism is one of thermooxidative or photooxidative degradation rather than of direct photolysis, and is catalyzed by the presence of metal compounds. The free radical pathways that lead to hydroperoxidation and consequent chain scission are fairly well understood (Shlyapnikov et al., 1996). Of the polymers used worldwide, polyethylene enjoys the largest annual volume. Research interest in understanding and controlling the photdegradation process of this polymer is therefore continuing. Efficient classes of light stabilizers such as the hindered amine light stabilizers (HALS) are used to ensure that adequate lifetimes are obtained in polyolefin products intended for outdoor use under a wide range of UV environments.
Poly(vinyl chloride) PVC, is used widely in building applications where the impact strength of the material is an important requirement. The projected consumption of PVC in the near future (1995 -2010) is much higher in the developing world and cin countries in transition. Estimated demand for Asia alone is more than that for the US, Canada and the European community combined(Gappert, 1996). Exposure to solar UV radiation is well known to decrease the impact strength of the polymer (Decker, 1984). As the surface layers of the plastic material degrades the titanium dioxide powder used as an opacifier is gradually released and may even form a surface layer loose enough to be rubbed off. This is responsible for “chalking” of extensively exposed PVC siding materials. Both the tensile strength and the extensibility of rigid PVC samples also decrease with the duration of exposure to solar UV radiation and the material finally embrittles (Decker, 1984). Similar changes also take place on exposure of plasticized PVC formulations used in membrane roofing applications and cable coverings (Matsumoto et al., 1984).
thank you for the unrelated article!My friendee said its a thing that people do when someone(i.e. me) says “first”
Unrelated?!? Look at that chair, and if you don’t know what it’s made of, ask someone. Please. Soon.
It is not considered Engrish ettiquete to say “First!”. When you are first. Because Engrishers know how to interpret text and read between the lines. We interpret this as:
“I am first, sooo looong suckers. You can kiss my ass and dwell in my dust.”
Congratulations on your first first. But please don’t do it again. We know you and like you, so you can go now with a warning.
Laccetti (professor of humanities at Stevens Institute of Technology) and Molsk, in their essay entitled The Lost Art of Writing,[12][13] are critical of the acronyms, predicting reduced chances of employment for students who use such acronyms, stating that, “Unfortunately for these students, their bosses will not be ‘lol’ when they read a report that lacks proper punctuation and grammar, has numerous misspellings, various made-up words, and silly acronyms.” Fondiller and Nerone[14] in their style manual assert that “professional or business communication should never be careless or poorly constructed” whether one is writing an electronic mail message or an article for publication, and warn against the use of smileys and these abbreviations, stating that they are “no more than e-mail slang and have no place in business communication”.
Yunker and Barry[15] in a study of online courses and how they can be improved through podcasting have found that these acronyms, and emoticons as well, are “often misunderstood” by students and are “difficult to decipher” unless their meanings are explained in advance. They single out the example of “ROFL” as not obviously being the abbreviation of “rolling on the floor laughing” (emphasis added). Haig[1] singles out LOL as one of the three most popular initialisms in Internet slang, alongside BFN (“bye for now”) and IMHO (“in my humble opinion”). He describes these acronyms, and the various initialisms of Internet slang in general, as convenient, but warns that “as ever more obscure acronyms emerge they can also be rather confusing”. Bidgoli[16] likewise states that these initialisms “save keystrokes for the sender but [...] might make comprehension of the message more difficult for the receiver” and that “[s]lang may hold different meanings and lead to misunderstandings especially in international settings”; he advises that they be used “only when you are sure that the other person knows the meaning”.
Shortis[7] observes that ROTFL is a means of “annotating text with stage directions”. Hueng,[4] in discussing these acronyms in the context of performative utterances, points out the difference between telling someone that one is laughing out loud and actually laughing out loud: “The latter response is a straightforward action. The former is a self-reflexive representation of an action: I not only do something but also show you that I am doing it. Or indeed, I may not actually laugh out loud but may use the locution ‘LOL’ to communicate my appreciation of your attempt at humor.”
David Crystal notes that use of LOL is not necessarily genuine,[17] just as the use of smiley faces or grins is not necessarily genuine, posing the rhetorical question “How many people are actually ‘laughing out loud’ when they send LOL?”. Franzini[2] concurs, stating that there is as yet no research that has determined the percentage of people who are actually laughing out loud when they write “LOL”.
Victoria Clarke, in her analysis of telnet talkers,[18] states that capitalization is important when people write “LOL”, and that “a user who types LOL may well be laughing louder than one who types lol”, and opines that “these standard expressions of laughter are losing force through overuse”. Egan[3] describes LOL, ROTFL, and other initialisms as helpful as long as they are not overused. He recommends against their use in business correspondence because the recipient may not be aware of their meanings, and because in general neither they nor emoticons are (in his view) appropriate in such correspondence. June Hines Moore[19] shares that view. So, too, does Lindsell-Roberts,[20] who gives the same advice of not using them in business correspondence, “or you won’t be LOL”.
TL:DR
Ding lame!
Management that makes posters like this are the reason Dilbert is so ubiquitously popular. The plastic used in those chairs gets brittle with age, stress, and sunlight. Sitting in an older plastic chair without breaking it is like standing on an empty pop can without crushing it. Paying for it is like being charged to be rescued from a cola mine explosion.
that’s probably how they turn a profit. Those chairs are like ten bucks at kmart.
well if its a folding chair its like but ten,but if its some thing fancy its like 700
I don’t know when you bought them, but cheap folding chairs disappeared this year, when I went to replace my decrepit fleet of $10-$25 folding chairs and found not a single folding chair less than $30, even at Wal-Mart and K-Mart. I did finally cinch a deal for $99 for four folding chairs, a table, and an umbrella, but only because it was the last one in the store. Now the molded plastic ones are sometimes cheaper, but try carrying them with you somewhere…
Not even five at walmart!
I’m wondering what currency that’s in. If it’s, say, 100 Hong Kong Dollars, that would convert to around $13 American. A little more reasonable, I’d say.
So that’s where the crucial ingredient in Coke, Pepsi and others originates!
I worked in a Cola mine once. Every night I came home all sticky and farting for hours not to mention all the damn pimples.
It’s all in past tense for some reason…
most of it anyway.
yes, but what does “Safty” mean?
Well, “salty” means high in sodium chloride, NaCl, so perhaps “safty” means high in sodium fluoride, NaFl.
So Fluoride isn’t a Fluorine ion but a seperate element with symbol Fl?
Fl can mean the element fluorine or it can mean fluoride, just as Cl means chlorine or chloride. The whole subject of terminology in physical chemistry is a bit too difficult to address without a whole course, e.g. why nitric oxide and nitrous oxide are two very different substances. And yet names in physical chemistry are a breeze compared with organic chemistry.
Catching hint FAIL. Posing as knowledgeable FAIL.
The symbol for fluorine is F, not Fl. The formula for sodium fluoride is NaF.
And physical chemistry doesn’t have a separate nomenclature for compounds; you appear to be confusing “physical” and “inorganic”.
Catching hint FAIL accepted. Posing as knowledgeable FAIL not accepted; it is merely that my courses in chemistry happen to have been nearly 40 years ago. Back in those days, we DID call them physical chemistry and organic chemistry. I know that there is no separate nomenclature for physical and organic (or what apparently is now called inorganic and organic), but when you get to compounds like 3,4,5-trimethoxy phenylethylamine, which (if my decades-old memory doesn’t fail me this time) is that relatively simple organic compound commonly known as mescaline (and, no, I’m not cheating and looking it up), you’ve reached a much higher level of complexity than anything you typically run into in inorganic chemistry, although I’ll concede I am ignorant of what they might be doing with chained compounds of, say, silicon these days. So while I will concede I haven’t had occasion to study the periodic table for a while, except when I recently figured out how to convert over-the-counter doses of potassium (always, in this country, sold in doses of 99 mg) to prescription doses (always written in milliequivalents), which did require the table, I do not pretend to know things I don’t. I am old enough that some memories are rusty, some terminology has changed, and yes, I do have brain farts more often than I used to, but I also know a lot more than I used to. That’s the plus side of getting older.
win.
My sister got a PhD in Inorganic Chemistry 30-ish yrs ago, so they must have made that name change pretty quick!
Oh, the word “inorganic” certainly wasn’t unused back then. I was merely stating that the term “physical chemistry” was also used to refer to inorganic chem back in those days.
I’d like to learn ethereal chemistry, myself. Or maybe astral chemistry…
I’m more into orgasmic chemistry.
Exobiological chemistry!
too much scientifical words please dumb it down alot… thanks ^^
See Spot run. Run, Spot, run! Good Spot!
No, Spot, no! Get off Jane, Spot! Bad, bad Spot!
See the funny funny wall.
See Jane jump the funny funny wall.
Jane has defected.
Defected? Too long and technical! Jane is gone. Bye bye, Jane. Hell-ooo Sally! How are YOU doin’?
Are you sure Jane hasn’t defecated because spot chased her over the wall?
She did, and left a spot behind.
Sara from lovelylisting.com called. She wants her chair back.
Candelini wants his hand back…
Yep, that’s Chair from lovelylisting.com, or a close relative. $100? I hope those aren’t US dollars they mean. Chair is pretty tough but long exposure to UV can turn Chair brittle, even with anti-UV additives in its plastic (see above).
All legs must what?
I don’t know what they’re supposed to do, but it’s clear they’re supposed to do it on the floor. No, not you, Spot! Bad Spot!
Wow, what a racket! Have unsuspecting young women sit in chalking, embrittled chairs, and when the chair shatters and the occupant lands on their keister; charge ‘em a hundred bucks!! And they must keep all their legs on the floor while doing so, for their safty.
Thank you, but I will seek my thrills elsewhere.
I dunno, sounds like a good money-making scam to me – where can I get me some degraded blatantly unsaf chairs?
None here. All of mine got bought and shipped to Fawlty Towers.
Silly people – if we sit in a chair and it breaks, WE SUE YOUR ASS. It’s the American way!
See chair break. See blood run. See lawyer soon.
A chair with the ability to fell and break you – now that explains its price.
PVC is also used to make sex toys.
See Jane use PVC. Oh, Jane, oh!
“Who break, who pay”
I think this means that once the chair breaks everybody runs for their lives and management doesn’t know who didn’t or who is going to pay for it.
He who breaks and runs away
Lives to break another day
‘Into every life a little chair must fell’
*thud*
Ow!
Was that a breaking chair I heard? Please stop by our front desk and pay $100.
Is that all the legs of the chair, or all the legs of the occupant, having to be on the floor? My pet centipede has read this sign three times, and is now having some sort of breakdown about trying to sit on the chair according to the rules. I’m going to sue management for the cost of his therapy.
WHO BREAK WHO PAY
So if I’m not a member of The Who I don’t have to pay ?
Maybe they mean the man on first base pays.
Who’s on first?
What?
No, Watt’s on 3rd.
How many watts are on third?
How many ergs in a watt joke?
Can’t say without the time. Ergs measure energy. Watts measure work.
E=I*R
P=I*E
Cake=L*I*E
You have another correct equation there, John.
But I’m guessing from yours you must have some knowledge of electronics, no? I’ve been an electronics hobbyist all my life, although lately I haven’t had the time or money to do much.
Yes, and I have a Ham Radio license, too, though I haven’t used it in some time. I’ll keep renewing it when it expires, though, just in case I want to supercharge my Wi-Fi…
But yes, I’m a ham, too, and have been since I was 17, which was 39 years ago. I don’t use my license much any more either, since the thrill of worldwide communication is so easily (and cheaply!) available here on the net. But I still do a little 2m FMing in the car, if I get bored with the music I have on board.
I got my license when I was eleven. It is a no code technician, though. Since they dropped the Morse code requirement, I could probably get a higher license, but like you said, with the Internet, why bother?
That’s a powerful piece of inductive reasoning.
I have a high capacitance for it.
Resistance is futile! Coil in fear! You will diode, and that is a one way trip of the switch!
Oh, just watch out for Ldi/dt…
AC what you are saying. I’ll DC-ing you!
Did he switch with I don’t know?
I don’t know.
I Don’t Give A Darn!
Too bad. I have a hole in my sock.
Take it up with Because.
Last I heard, Because was getting down, not taking it up.
Why?
Left field.
I just thought I’d ask you.
Why not?
I just thought I’d tell you!
What’s on second.
Good try Wat’s on, but this looks like a case for Sherlock Holmes.
Better Holmes than gardens!
but the real question is who’s on 2th?
The 2th fairy.
According to the picture, who’s apparently on a broken chair.
$100 stacking resin chairs? What a ripoff!
They’re $30 a piece if you don’t shop. $10 if you do, or buy in bulk and they’re even cheaper.
Uhm, so if Who breaks it Who Buys it.
But what if i break one, does Who have to pay it too then?
Who doesn’t have to buy it, Who simply pays. It doesn’t say Who actually gets the chair. And if you break it, I don’t think you have to pay, just Who.
But that’s only if Who breaks, and since the unfortunate demise of Keith Moon, Who hasn’t gotten many breaks.
If What breaks it, does What pay?
What records, but from what I’m told they haven’t broken any while doing so.
Today is under construction, so Tomorrow can pay if he hits it with his pitch.
I’ve been looking for Today all day without success. What kind of construction should I look under to find it?
Maybe constructive criticism?
Except that when people claim they’re doing that, more often it’s destructive. “I just want you to know what a piece of crap you are, so next time maybe you won’t stink quite as bad.”
Maybe that’s why it left…
We’ve not yet discussed the ominous meaning of “Any Chair May Fell.”
May fell trees?
May fell fives in their prime?
( This is how Steve ended up chopped!!! And what of his ribs? Perhaps they were only Choice.)
May Fell out of any chair; she wasn’t particular that way.
It seems their chairs have fell designs in more than one way, know what I mean?
Perhaps they just intend to give the sitter a little fell action.
My inner 12-year-old refuses to see the c and n in “action”.
My inner 12-year-old doesn’t know that word, so I’ll have to defer to my inner 13-year-old. Oh, now I see! LOL!
Atio? That isn’t a word…
You would see it’s a word if you fell on it……
Yes… I have heard of the word, but the definition escapes me…
And from what I do remember of the word, it is not something I would want to look up at work…
May fell lives in their prime. Geez.
It’s a repost! I’ve definitely seen it here.