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Cheezburger Network Blog
Adult beer over there.
No Beer No dad
If you believe everything you read.
I guess they think it’s never too early to start.
I don’t think that this is exactly the same thing as alcoholic beverages. It’s just what it says, child safe beer like child cigs are actually candy. Now, to research it!
As further down the thread, Kingfisher is a brand of lager, brewed in India.
‘Scuse me, do you have a lager in a tall sippy cup?
I’ll need to see some ID first. Don’t want any adults pretending to be children…
Let him know that we also have the beer in a baby bottle for those who are not old enough to drink from a sippy cup.
Ah, yes. The baby beer is over here.
I prefer Raspberry.
Raspberry beer? You don’t like the taste of child, then.
Srsly; Raspberry beer, made on Kangaroo Island. Tasty!
I prefer kangaroos made on Raspberry Island.
No kangaroo is an island.
What if it is a really big kangaroo made out of rock jutting out of the ocean not connected to any other land masses?
Rocky Kangaroo? I think not.
A giant kangaroo shaped rock rising out of the ocean floor and breaking the surface as a Kangaroo Island…
Of course, it’s called Kangaroo Island because there are lots of kangaroos there, just like the Virgin Islands are so called because…..
Oh, wait…
No virgin is an island.
Since no-one’s ever been there, how can you be sure?
What DO you call the Virgin Islands after you’ve been there?
The Island formerly known as Virgin… Or Whore Dust Cove…
Kangaroo means i don’t understand in aboriginal so i wouldn’t be surprised if there was i island called that.
The name “Rocky” was already taken by a squirrel. The roo was called Skippy.
Also by a raccoon. At least, that was the chatter among the Beatles.
Is it beer made from children? Or just beer that hasn’t aged long enough?
I am sorry but we can’t answer the question. We are not allowed to discuss the ingredients or the aging process.
Made from a child. The Girl Scout cookies are over here…
are they made from 100% organic girlscouts? i only eat organic ones!;)
Is someone baking Brownies?
I’m waiting to se if Dr H gets back to me on the idea of making cookies with mattress in them, since we don’t smoke. Close enough?
Wouldn’t a “fudge Brownie” be a fudge flavoured with Brownies?
I prefer to let the Brownies mature into Girl Guides – you have to wait longer, but they develop a much more intense flavour. Gotta get ‘em before the turn into Venturers or Rovers, though, they get too gamey then.
The smell of fermenting children…… BLEAUGGGGHHH!!
Oh heavens to betsy, THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!! How dare you promote child alcohol abuse!!! Regardless of whether it exists undoctored or not, it’s so awful and totally goes against everything I stand for. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!
/sarcasm
I suspect I’m the target of some parody here, which is fine. I don’t take myself too seriously. But in fact one of the changes I’ve seen over the years is that drug and alcohol abuse start earlier and earlier. I’ve seen children as young as eight get into trouble with it. I had one client who swore his parents did give him beer in his baby bottle to keep him quiet. But that’s all I’ll say in a serious vein here. I promise.
At least they can start with the child beer. Otherwise, they’d be on malt liquor by the time they were adolescents.
Oh, actually no. I was seeing someone fake rage somewhere else and got a tad fed up at people without kids/never going to have kids scream “Think of the children”. I apologize for making you think I was talkin about you. My bad.
No, it was entirely my paranoia and/or sensitivity that caused me to think this was about me. I do take some flack for getting too serious sometimes, most dramatically in one instance dealing with children a few months back. (And BTW, I do have a kid myself.)
I was never given booze, but apparently I did get bull-buggeringly drunk at about 12 months of age by sneaking about at a parents’ party, draining and licking out the sherry and port glasses. My mum reckons I slept right through the night without a peep, and was good as gold the next day; she says she was sorely tempted to feed me sherry on many occasions after that.
My mom used to feed us paragoric on what she considered an “as need basis,” it was a staple in the medicine cabinet.
That was actually a common practice in the not-very-remote past. Paregoric is literally a tincture of opium, complete with all the alkaloids found in the opium poppy, including morphine and codeine. I’m sure it kept babies quiet! (It’s also an unparallelled remedy for diarrhea, and would still be in wide usage if not for those little problems of addiction, overdose, constipation, rebound diarrhea, etc.)
“I did get bull-buggeringly drunk ” – I’ve never heard that one before, and as a Scot I know something like 70 different synonyms and euphemisms for “very drunk”.
There’s a lot of Scots & Irish heritage in the Australian population, which is probably why we have some pretty good euphemisms of our own.
If bull-buggering means what it sounds like it means… that was an awfully drunk toddler!
Not to mention awfully strong.
And ballsy.
Come Down Here and visit sometime, we can teach you 70 more.
Most people for most of our history did that, and not from nefarious intent, from the time beer was first made. It was a staple of the diet, long before people decided that it was horrible, evil, nasty, immoral, and abominable to consume ethanol unless one had completed a score of orbits around the sun.
The medieval consumption rate was roughly one quart per capita per day. That’s for the total population.
Well, “small” (i.e. low alcohol) beer was probably safer to drink than the water for much of European medievaldom, because the mash had to be boiled up prior to fermentation, which would’ve killed off a majority of the microbes lurking in the water.
It is, I have been told many times, common practice in some European countries for children to drink wine with meals. And there is actually some research that in cultures where wine or beer are treated like ordinary foodstuffs, rates of alcoholism are actually lower.
its chilled beer nt child beer spelling mistake!!!!!!!!!
Probably Bud Lite. No grown up would drink that stuff.
Appearently theyre releasing actual BEER flavored sugar-water known as bud!
Maybe it’s a shop where wimmen can acquire both these items. Ladies, go to this shop, and drink the beer until you are completely ratarsed and will have no recollection of what (or whom) you do, then hang around with the fellas for a bit, then go home the next morning. The child will be along in about nine months.
If that’s the case, then there’s several establishments like these one all over the country. Only that they don’t advertise the extra-nine-month bonus of the beer.
In some countries, “child’s beer” can refer to root beer, malta or similar drinks.
I think they just ran out of room and they shortened the word from “chilled” to “child.” Not really Engrish. Just terrible planning.
Well, it’s probably legal to give the under-half-percent beer to kids in most countries. Could they mean something like that?
Oh, I remember the uproar here in the US some years ago when a soft drink that was part malt beverage, vaguely like a shandy, was being test-marketed. Sure to make all American kids into drunks eventually…
As someone who enjoys an occasional non-alcoholic brew, especially with Mexican food, I find it funny that at least in this state, one may be asked to produce proof of age to buy it, and it cannot be bought on a Sunday. (Alcohol sales are still prohibited on Sunday in most counties and municipalities in Kentucky. This made for some frantic late Saturday night runs to the one liquor store in Lexington that stayed open until 2:00AM on Saturday night, back in the days when a day without alcohol was torture for me. I sure don’t miss those days!)
[serious]Since the advert is for Kingfisher, I suspect the establisment is in India. I know nothing about Indian licencing laws and the like, but do know enough about the way the average Indian speaks “English” to be fairly sure that “Child” was meant to be an abbreviation of “Chilled” (qv). [/serious]
I haven’t been this creeped out since I found out where ‘baby oil’ comes from.
You mean they don’t make it by rendering babies!?
I still haven’t figured out how they make old motors into motor oil.
Rendering babies? What a revolting suggestion!
They cold press them, of course.
That’s cold!
Sounds like a pressing matter.
Well, that also explains the convenient Child Cage under the Kingfisher sign.
Actually its’ a thing known in Germany as Kinder Beer – it’s beer without alcohol – and they actually do give it to kids. Miller makes something similar that tastes good, but like decaf coffee – what’s the point, really??
Some people actually do enjoy the taste of beer, as I still do despite the fact that I’ve been sober 20 years. No other beverage seems to go so well with Mexican food, to me. Some people enjoy the taste of coffee but can’t handle the caffeine. I do like the taste of coffee, but if I drank it just for the taste, I’d probably have it about as often as I do non-alcoholic brew, maybe once a week. But since my brain does not function well without caffeine, I drink several cups a day. Substance use and abuse and enjoying tastes are two different things. I’m actually rather fussy about my non-alcoholic beers–I won’t bother with any that I don’t love the taste of, and there are only a couple I find palatable–but back in my drinking days, while I had taste preferences, I’d still drink whatever was around, even if I thought it tasted awful. Just like right now I’m still drinking coffee from this morning’s pot, even though it tasted a whole lot better several hours ago!
John, I eat Mexican food everyday. Luckily, I don’t feel that beer is the only drink that I can have with my breakfast, lunch and dinner.
In fact. I am not a drinker at all. I am 26 and cannot have more than one drink or it will ge to me. My sister is 24 and she can drink beer like a man and still look sober. I guess beer affects everyone differently.
your sister must be a fatty
Oh my God, I wish I could show you a picture of her. She has a very good body. And it’s not like she drinks beer every single day. I just meant that when she drinks, she can have several without them getting to her.
She will drink beer on weekends when she goes out. She is not skinny like a stick. She has a normal body and a flat stomach. What’s amazing about that is that she doesn’t even excercise.
Tolerance to alcohol is partly a result of how much you’re used to drinking, but innate factors are even stronger contributors to tolerance. When I was in my 20s and early 30s, I could eat and drink almost anyone under the table, and I was very fit and fairly thin, 6′3″ and around 185 lbs. Then, rather abruptly, alcohol began to not agree with me, although that didn’t slow my consumption any, and I couldn’t eat nearly as much, but I still put on weight, ending up around 225. I hate seeing pictures of me circa 1987, since I had a big belly and rings around my eyes so dark I looked like a raccoon. Many alcoholics have an inborn high tolerance for alcohol. However, that doesn’t stop the booze from killing them, if they keep hitting it hard. I feel fairly certain that had I not succeeded in quitting, I’d be dead by now.
And you would still be writing to us from under the grave, just like Billy Maes.
YES, MAYBE I WOULD!!!
Young bodies can get away with just about anything. Give her a few decades…
That’s what I think. She doesn’t have any kids either. After motherhood, her body will definitely not be what it is now. Unless she is willing to work hard for it.
This is SO true *sigh*… the older I get, the better I was…
thats in india, I have a picture of this one place, it served COLD BEARS!
Share, please!!!
Well, you know that in Japan they have a non-alcoholic beer for kids called “Children’s Beer”.
I also remember a really sweet dark malt beer on my last visit to Germany (as a lad in 1973) that they were willing to serve to us kids in a restaurant. My younger (German) cousin preferred Coca-Cola. I was so impressed that it was beer — though of marginal alcohol content — that I kept drinking, despite the excessive sweetness. It was sweeter than Coke, yes.
Clausthaler and Warsteiner, last I checked, make drinkable almost-no-alcohol beers one can get in the USA. So can any home brewer. Brew a batch of rather small beer (not too much malt), then heat it to drive off the alcohol, then prime it with sugar for carbonation and add extra yeast if you think you’ve killed the yeast (okay, that puts a little alcohol back in. You can save the dregs, unheated, for lots of live yeast for the carbonation: just put a bit back in). Still under 1% alcohol and worlds better than American no-alcohol beers.
PedoBear Certified lol