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Cheezburger Network Blog
Ho ho ho! Merry X-rays!
meh I prefer celebrating coloneasterly
And a happy MRI scan!
Actually, I am going in for an MRI/catscan on the 11th. The doctors say I ‘MIGHT’ have a brain tumor/clot, and they need to scan. I really hope that I’m not going to die. o_o
Bummer. I hope things work out for you.
Wait, are you being serious? Or am I missing out on the funny part.
Serious. *sighs*
Worrying times for you then.
I’m not sure what in your case has led to concern about a possible tumor or clot, but the vast majority of the time when a scan is run the results are negative (which is, in this context, good).
If you’re not bullsh!tting us, I wish you all the luck in the world. Here, have some more chocolate! It’s the barely sweetened stuff, maybe it will cure you.
BlueJade, you do know that chocolate can kill cats, right? I’ve been noticing you keep on offering him some.
*Blarg!* I am ded!
Ded Zeppelin?
No, Killed Bill.
This is not an ordinary cat.
I wish you the best, and that it all turns out well for you.
And a Happy MRI.
Ur an idiot. srsly. look at the second comment.
I just got the bill. I’m laughing on the inside and crying on the outside.
You’ve got a lump.
Happy Holidays!
Here’s your tumor all wrapped up!look at the pretty RIBBONS!!!!
ZOMG RIBBONS! *plays with ribbons*
Pretty pretty, shiny shiny!
My gosh, is it that time of year already? It’s not even Hallochemo!
Well, there’s no place like a hospital for the holidays…
I’ll get the fruitcake and the gamma knife.
Any flavor preference on the HalfLytely?
No, but I really must protest those surgically implanted Christmas ornaments! Are you going to remove them after New Year’s?
These Christmas balls keep me in the holiday spirit all year!
Did you notice whether they used the medical orders or menu page when they ordered the double d*ng pot belly for you?
The gamma knife is the only thing here that will cut the fruitcake.
Try the laser!
Oh, the straight razor!!
Oh, intercourse the gamma knife or the laser, low-tech brute force might just do this; get me the log splitter. Failing that, get me the wedge, and the 10 lb sledge. Otherwise, have at it with the chainsaw.
We borrowed the diamond tile saw from the bathroom tile job and it seems to be working.
If it slows down, I’ll borrow the diamond street saw from the highway department.
Careful with that thing once you hit the icing, any slivers will slice through humans like hot shrapnel though butter.
It is the dried candied fruit that tears up blades and snaps belts.
Xmas celebrates the day Jesus was born. Xrays delebrates the day Grim Reaper was born (why else do you think we always see his bones?), because those worshipping the other side didn’t find it fair that Jesus got a bunch of holidays while Satan, Grim Reaper etcetera didn’t get any.
Oh, you obviously have not studied occultism, or you’d realize that Satan does indeed have his holidays. And as far as the Reaper, either Halloween or the All Saints (or All Souls) Day that follow certainly provide an acknowledgement of his handiwork, not to mention Memorial Day.
And Mondays.
And a Happy Neutrino!
hehehe physics win!
I’m trying to be Merry, but I feel really Roentgen…
Uuuurrrrggh. Half-assed pun fail…
Which half of your ass is being x-rayed?
The posterior. Or should that be dorsal? My donkey has lower back pains, not headaches.
That pun really was the back end of the donkey suit. *Clonk*
And you ladies be sure to have the Festive Mammogram!
And for you men, a prostate new year!
♫Scan-ta Claus is coming to town.♫
for he knows your medical records!
I sure hope he’s checking them twice!
For he knows whether you’ve been healthy or not!
You better watch out, you better not cry,
You better not pout, I’m telling you why,
Daddy’s home and he’s really drunk…
WRAGGHHH!! *CRUSHES BEER CAN ON HEAD* TOGA PARTY!!!!!!! *INVITES ANTI TROLL FRIENDS OVER* HEY JOHNB, HAVE A BEER OR THREE!
How inconsiderate! Who offers a recovered alcoholic beer?
Quite a few more people than you imagine, probably. Four days sober and a waitress was very insistent that the iced tea I was ordering was really a Long Island Iced Tea. I literally had to threaten her to get her to bring me an ordinary iced tea. Many people say, “Well, you’ve been so long without it, it’s not a problem any more, so you can have a drink with us.” They often mean no harm, but just don’t understand. Temptation is not hard to find! But if I were to break over (and God help me to avoid it!), I wouldn’t waste my time with a beer or even three. Give me a double Maker’s Mark on the rocks, bartender, and leave the bottle. Oh, and take my keys.
*Takes keys*
*Gives John another Long Island Iced Tea*
I said Maker’s Mark, on the rocks, dammit! If I’m going to get virtually drunk, I want the best Kentucky bourbon.
*Dumps out Iced Tea*
FINE! NONE FOR YOU!!
I think you are already virtually drunk, look at how demanding you’ve become. I think we will need you to stay virtually sober as well.
No, it’s okay. On-line I know my limimmmmimit.
I’ll have a Wild Turkey Reserve, neat.
And let’s hope you stay that way afterwards. *flicks Groucho cigar*
Hurray for Groucho! and his bros.
Are you ok with food prepared with alcohol? Rum cakes, and so forth? How hair-trigger is the setting?
Foods ordinarily prepared with alcohol are fine (I even use cooking wine myself sometimes), although I’ve tasted some folks’ bourbon balls that were so, shall we say, flavorful, that I figured I’d better stop at two.
Come to Merry Xray, where we will be delighted to bill you, I mean, to serve you.
Just put that on my Canada Health-Care please…
Up Top!Canada healthcare FTW!
*hi fives Mr.Frycas*
Perhaps the US will join the rest of Western civilization on this soon, but probably not. Since I’m self-employed and both I and my wife are old and decrepit, no insurance agencies will touch us with a ten-foot claim form. And my wife has had two hospital stays in the past year (just for trivial reasons, of course, like NEARLY DYING), so our Merry X-ray is definitely going to be dampened by the second hospital bill (we somehow managed to pay off the first).
We’ll send a death panel over immediately!
I do have to say that the Canada Health Act is the worst in the Western Hemisphere, except for all the others…
♫Said the doctor to the radiologist
Do you see what I see
Way up in the femur, my man
Do you see what I see
A break, a break
From dancing in the night
While he was as high as a kite
While he was as high as a kite.♫
Dr. Parkinson declared,
“I’m not surprised to see you here,
You’ve got smoker’s cough from smoking, brewer’s droop from drinking beer.
I dunno how you came to get the Bette Davis… knees but,
worst of all young man you have Industrial Disease!”
Industrial Disease… We all have it, the planet has it.
He wrote me a prescription, he said;
“You are depressed. I’m glad you came to see me to get this off your chest.”
“Come back and see me later.” *ding* “Next patient please!”
“send in another victim of Industrial Disease!”
What is that from?
Dire Straits – Love Over Gold album
A true classic.
Shouldn’t it be Merry Christray?
Keep the Christ in Christray.
Now, now, we all know that Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Santa Claus! What’s Jesus got to do with it???
*DELETE*
not to be a party pooper but merry xray is a real radiology company. it seems unfortunate they took up residency in an old chinese food place.
In which case, I’m glad they x-ray the food before serving it to us. I really hate getting those bone chips in General Tso’s Chicken.
We wish you a merry x-ray
We wish you a merry x-ray
We wish you a merry x-ray
And we hope you’re insured!
I know that sign. It’s just down the strip mall in Las Vegas’ “China Town” shopping district from Pacific Archery where I get my archery supplies.
Sad thing is, I know this as a valid company. They are nationwide and know many people who work for them. I do like to pick on that name though
This is an actual company. I work for a radiology deptment and we deal with Merry x-ray on a regular basis.
Can I get a cat scan?
I believe ShadowSplicer already gave you one, back when he was behaving badly and pretending to be you.
Oh, the copy cat?
*COPY*
X-ray in a manger, no crib for a bed…
And a happy colonoscopy to you, too!
This one seems fake.. The Merry seems way to flat, and does not align with the X-Ray (Merry is completely horizontal, ‘pixel perfect’, while X-Ray seems more 3d and tilts down at the right)