I live to give.
Thank you for the internal organs.
For Winter
Submitted by: Jillian M. via Engrish Funny Submissions
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and they put them in neat little baggies.
When the baggies get cold, the shrinkage makes the external organs try to become internal organs for the warmth.
f**k what a terriblem present
Can you wear them around your neck?
Get the oatmeal- it’s time to make a haggis.
That can’t be. It’s never time to make haggis.
Oh, but on the contrary, it’s always time to EAT haggis! C’mon, Robbie Burns couldn’t have been ALL wrong about the Scottish delicacy!
Oh, yes he could. It’s too easy to go wrong when a dish contains ALL the leftover little bits left from slaughter. And DNT suggested it contain oatmeal as well…! Serious evil.
Menudo is pretty good, but it has just one suspicious item, the tripe.
The first time I ate haggis, I thought it was surprisingly good, so some time later I decided to make one. The hardest part was getting the offal. &*%$# “health” laws! Now they’ve made another regulation so that I can’t buy wild rabbits to eat.
BTW, what’s your problem with oatmeal? (Maybe I like it because of my Scottish ancestry).
I had a sadistic parent as a child. She was capable of of good cooking, but enjoyed the concept of “food as punishment.” Her oatmeal, eggplant casserole, and something described as haggis are scary memories.
I like oatmeal when I cook it, it’s nothing like the slime I remember.
The eggplant casserole would etch the pan it was cooked in. Serious.
To be fair, there are such things as bad, really bad, haggis.
Typical mistakes include being cheap and using lots of fat, so you get a greasy mess when it’s cooked, and rediculous quantities of white pepper, so the dish is uneatably hot and peppery.
Fair fu’ your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain of the puddin race,…
First 2 lines of Robert Burns’ “To a Haggis”, from memory. That’s one thing that’s not true of the Scots; we’re not all Burns fans!
Sheep’s stomachs are so difficult to get these days. On the other hand, I haven’t done an augury in ages.
I know, right? It’s just not the same to use previously frozen chicken gizzards…*sigh* ah the good old days when a Haruspex could operate in realtive peace…
As paws4thot said, it’s not good when a haggis is too haruspicy.
At last, it’s less troublesome to change from one’s summer organs.
Your welcome, but your not taking my external ones.
BTW, if I want them back, do I have to pay & where can I get them?
What the fuck are they?
My internal organs are great. JohnB once complimented me on my bladder.
I don’t know if anybody has told you this Conejita but I must say your liver is quite sexy ;D
and you have a large heart, it intestined me to go further into this subject.
Yes, if you have opted (as I have) to be an organ donor upon your death, I wonder if I could put in a reservation for your bladder. Mine is good for two hours at most.
Don’t forget, if you get a female bladder donor, you’ll have to go to the loo in pairs for the rest of your life.
I thought that was because the amusement park rides they keep hidden in the ladies’ room required two riders.
Damn, ladies, they’ve rumbled us. Next thing you know, they’ll figure out that when we say “powder my nose” there’s no make-up involved.
So it seems like there’s a leak in the bathroom. A woman has been talking to men about confidential top secret information.
Thank you all for your comments about my organs. My liver is in perfect shape, I don’t drink alcohol. My lungs are good too because I don’t smoke. My heart is in good shape because I am not overweight. And yes, I am an organ donor. I hope that with my death many others will be able to live.
And I hope that your death is many decades in your future.
Speaking of organ donors:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_of_Montreal
Thank you. I hope I last too. I wish I could also donate my good sense of humor. There are many deserving people who could use some.
Lordy, yes! And so many of them seem to log on to this site…
Like who?
There’s no point in naming names. We all know who they are, even if they don’t.
I do keep a list with all their names. At the time of my death, one of you will be in charge of picking the receiving troll.
We might have to ask Dr. Handle to perform the surgery. I wouldn’t know if she is qualified to do this since I don’t know if she is a real doctor. In any case, just wait until I am dead before doing anything to me.
Personality change? Or not Tom?
Not really Engrish…actually a very close translation to what it actually says. It’s a warming pack. Perhaps could be better translated as “A wintertime thank you from my insides”.
There’s a big difference between “from” and “for.”
Yep. It’s all in the details.
Even, “Thank you from the internal organs” would still be Engrish, since in the English vernacular we are accustomed to thanking from the heart, but rarely from any other internal organs.
Hmmm.. sometimes my bladder thanks me.
My bladder isn’t that polite. It’s always taking the p!ss.
I know what mean.
There are times when my intestines make rude noises.
A very close translation, with technically correct grammar and spelling, that manages nonetheless to have an entirely different and subsequently amusing meaning. I’d say that’s a wonderful example of Engrish. If you dont’ find it funny, move on.
Sure, but I’ll need them back in time for spring break.
This isn’t really an Engrish thing. They translated it close to exactly its just a cultural misunderstanding. There’s a Japanese belief that to protect health you should wear a garment around your midsection to keep your internal organs warm. It’s especially important for elderly and pregnant women. That’s what this is. The caption in Japanese says “your winter stomach will thank you.
But my autumn pancreas is cursing you. I can’t help it, that’s what my internal organs say!
I should get one of these then. I was pretty brutal to my liver this year.
I’d make a organ-harvesting joke, but it would be like shooting fish in a barrel.
(Also it’s Japanese, not Chinese, so it wouldn’t really be as appropriate)
Derp.
Go for it!
A barrel organ?
Awwww, the zombie factory is sending out corporate Christmas cards. It’s definitely an improvement on last year’s effort, “Braaaaaains!”
Thanks for the scarfs! I hope the patient likes my lung and kidney I donated =D. (in case of idiots, I didn’t really donate my organs)
Ever had some dork ask you “Would you like to be an organ donor?” I have. I told him “No, since it means I have to die soon.”
*Cue that sketch from Monty Python’s “Meaning of Life”.*
all sperms are sacred and needed in your neighborhood!
That’s one of the better-known sketches, but not the one I had in mind.
Live organ donors!
I know wich one! I do like the rather fishy one
Fish:Hello!
Other fishes: Oh hello!
I thanked the organist for the Internal Organ recital last Sunday.
Is she the one with the tattoo above her navel: “Wurlitzer Inside”?
No, it says, “Visualize Wurlitzer peas.”
You should watch her spin her Leslie speakers.
Now you’re talking Hammond organs.
After winter you’ll give me back my internal organs…right?!
Ahahahaha
Crazy!