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Cheezburger Network Blog
Well if I am going to sit on my as* all day it might as well be cushioned and comfy.
I won’t ask if you come with a layer of padding already.
Always.
Well, I certainly didn’t need to know the BRAND of padding, although I didn’t think those went on your ass. Perhaps you should read the directions on the box more carefully.
Man you’re funny.
I’ve been accused of that before.
Oh rearry? I have heard accusations of the contrary!
All false, of course!
Opinions are ass-colored.
Ass 12?
No, thanks. I already had some.
How many did you have?
How many what?
Asses.
I’ll assess the asses and get back to you.
I need to ass you some questions, here.
Ride that ass into town!
I did intend to tell you the brand. So I am glad you got it. I just thought you would like to know that I don’t use the cheap stuff.
It doesn’t go on your ass, but it does cover part of it. It needs to protect from front to back to avoid any leaks. This is for heavy periods. In lighter days, you can wear a smaller one that doesn’t go back to your ass.
Well, I don’t have periods, but I do recall a faux commercial from SNL regarding “Stay-Free Penie Pads,” which were “good for the last drop.” Perhaps some men ought to wear them…
there’s also this for ladies looking for something a bit more……
urban
my vid was removed >.<
just google dave chapelle rocka bads
it's the vid at the top
Ass = assorted, surely?
There is never certainty to be found in Engrish. That’s one of the things that makes it so much fun!
You will get maximum enjoyment from this site if you leave your common sense and inference at the door. Don’t forget to yell “POO BUM WEE!” on the way in!
Not necessarily. And stop calling me (shirley).
Well on the first one, yes, since it has a period after it. Also a roman numeral three, perhaps indicating that the box contains an assortment of three cushion styles.
However on the next line there is no period, so we must conclude that the cushions are, in fact, ass-colored.
Clearly it’s assorted. How did this picture ever garner enough votes to make the main page?
Apparently this pic was taken by a 12-year-old who’s never worked in retail, solely motivated by the “he said ‘ass’” mentality….
*rereads own comments, realization dawns* Holy crap, did I seriously just go all highbrow to complain about an Engrish photo? I need to get out more often….
S’alright, it just means that engrish is making sense to you! Congrajalations!
Apparently, there are three asses. Or perhaps they reverted to lower case letters and the ass is really Ill.
There are twelve in the color…
I took that to mean there were 12 asses.
Yes, but that makes fifteen. Three to cushion, twelve to color.
How many asses does it take to change a light bulb?
Fifteen. Three to cushion, twelve to color.
Ass many Ass needed.
Shame on you! As a doctor, you should know that changing a light bulb with your ass is highly risky behavior! Especially if the bulb was recently on! I’ve met with Bernie after spicy food, but I never met with him while changing a light bulb!
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me:
Twelve colored a$$es,
.
.
.
Three French cushioned a$$es,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!
what color is ass exactly?
It says right on the box! It’s ass-colored.
Ass 12, actually.
That must refer to the number on the colour chart.
I’ve seen some asses that were 10s, but I’ve never seen a 12!
You need to go to the plus size store, then.
Jeezuz wept, when a size 12 is regarded as a “plus” size, there’s somethings seriously wrong with the public perception of what is “normal” and “healthy”.
AMEN!!!!!!
Well, John’s never seen one bigger than a 10, so where else is he supposed to go?
Out into the street. To the park. To the supermarket. To the library. To the cinema. To the fishmonger. To the post office. To the beach. To his workplace. Anywhere that ordinary people are.
Maybe he needs new lenses?
I think JohnB has not the just the wool, but the whole sheep pulled over his eyes. Whether he accepts it or not, he has seen plenty of asses above a size ten.
Isn’t it all in the eye of the beholder?
He may *see* those above a ten, but to him they may appear to be ten or smaller?
I would like to ask you all to keep your asses out of my eye. Thank you.
No conjunctivitis for you, huh?
You keep your eyes off our asses!
Well, if you offer asses, I’m gonna look!
If Vince Offer asses, I’m not going to look. Shamwow to that!
*SNORT* RANK AMATEUR!
How long until I rank professional?
as* as in donkey, an as* cushion would be comfy!and as* color can range from brownish to grey-black.
Mind you, how I’m supposed to get my cushioned ass into that teeny little box, I’m not sure…
Until we see it, it may or may not be in the box already!
It may come in several boxes.
My ass is not, unfortunately, detachable or dismantleable (more’s the pity), therefore it can only be placed in one box at a time.
Asses are constructed for being easily split in half, like some tablets of medicine. Just break along the scored line, and it would easily fit into two boxes.
That comment seems rather half-assed.
Hey, you can’t just go around going off half-cocked!
You will know for sure which box my ass is in, because the rest of me will be attached to it and hanging out of the box. Complaining loudly about being stuck in a box, probably.
If your ass won’t fit in the box, you could put it in the nett.
I’m sure the good doctor does not want her ass plastered all around the ‘Net.
Well, if her ass is going to be hanging out all over the Net, she might just as well get plastered.
Before or after she boxes?
If you’re going to get plastered, then you probably are better off in a box, where you can’t get out to drive drunk or puke all over your in-laws or p!ss in a light socket.
Don’t piss in a heavy socket, either.
Mine needs a cushion. What a useful product!
Balaam’s ass could talk.
Unfortunately there has never been a shortage of talking asses.
I have met quite a few.
What would politics be without them?
Non-existent.
None of you got this? Really? It’s not Engrish of any kind. Ummmm….Cushion Assortment III and Colour Assortment III. We used to get these boxes in all the time when I worked at Home Depot and Lowe’s. Possibly for lawn or patio furniture.
“Ass” could be an abbreviation of “assortment” or “assorted”? My God, we are all so stupid!!! We should just hold our breaths until we die.
But then if people keep on explaining the Engrish to us, we won’t have any fun. Please just leave us in our ignorance, we beg of you.
Well, slap mah fro!
*slaps Lexan D’s fro*
gmta!
Give me the ass?
Eye don’t think my donkey would like it.
It looks like there is a net involved as well. So we have an ass colored cushion in a net. I didn’t look good on Cher, and I don’t imagine it looks good here either.
You didn’t look good on Cher? Well, you can take comfort in the fact that it was easier to look good on Cher when she was younger and less artificially enhanced.
Assorted, how funny.
Not!!!!!
Jimbo, how funny.
Not!!!!!
I was going to order a large quantity but was told that all they had was two gross.
We’ll have a table waiting for you in Dreadful Pun Hell.
Uhh… can we fit a table inside the jacuzzi? We’re already crowded as it is.
Oh, noes! I thought Oozy Jack was gone! Get me out of here!
Why is ass censored?
*sigh* Search the archives for the explanation. I just don’t have the strength to do it again.
Worst. Engrish. Submission. Ever.
The fact that most people gave a high score for something that isn’t even engrish is possibly worse.
Look at the Person who is not a person complaining about perfectly good Engrish!
Out of 85 commenters and counting, you’re one of the few to complain. But then what do I know? I’m just a trailer park idiot laughing at what the photoshopping yellow monkey people do.
Hey, I’m not the one complaining!
We trailer park idiots often miss the target when we push “Reply.”
You need to work on your aim! Practice on the toilet upwards.
It’s just so hard to aim properly when you’re laughing at the photoshopping yellow monkey people!
Then look at the photoshopping blue monkey people!
Great suggestion!
And I have just the right color chart that’ll help him with that.
I NOT HAS A PMS!
k.
Not engrish, short for assorted and very common in retail. So much so that this is not funny in the slightest.
we noes. and that is not the point.
humor can be very subjective.
.
.
Some who been in related businesses since the stone age know this.
Domestic (U.S.) suppliers and manufacturers used to use asst or ass’t to indicate assorted.
oh, and see the comment above- November 10, 2009 @ 9:11 am
Well, slap mah fro!
But keep your hands off my to.
Do you have to in your fro?
I don’t have to, in or out of my fro.
Then no one will touch your to.
U can’t touch this, because I don’t have to.
Stop!
an intelligent cat!
and well versed in urban idioms.
Some of them, anyway.
How odd. Neither is your comment. What a coincidence!
And that time, leaving a previous name was intentional.
I can understand people might want to giggle at this, but that still doesn’t make it engrish, which means it shouldn’t be on this site.
*goggles giggles*
I am not in charge here, but I have proposed a simple rule that many of the regulars here have voiced strong support for. “If it LOLZ, it ROLLZ.”
Sounds good to me.
I was being ever so slightly sarcastic in my response to Person.
This really isnt an Engrish moment. A*s is an abbreviation for Assorted.