I recommend Xanax
She LA
I would like to know, butifeel anxiety and fear …
To learn isa hunaninstinct, toteachingisa humn duty
Is it my eyes? Do you fear them?
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Hm. Bad spelling. BORING!
To learn isa hunaninstinct. So pipe down and learn! Whatch what we do with this…
If you’re bored, click on the caption. There’s 156 comments just waiting to amuse.
*Watches*
I’m glad it’s a hunan instinct. A szechuan instinct would be too spicy.
Speak for yourself! I love szechuan, although I don’t always love those meetings with Bernie that follow.
Hey, at least you don’t have to be there all weekend!
You’re dead to rights there!
I’m not, but he certainly is! Have you seen the sequel?
Hunan Instinct. I believe that I had bad Chinese food there with Sharon Stone…
I’ve had Chinese food with duck, beef, chicken or prawns, but AFAIK never beaver!
That’s best left for dessert.
Oh, you two, Dreadful Pun Hell fairy dresses in paisley and says “Behave!”
I had written a comment here before, and now it has dissappeared. That damm t filter erased my whole comment.
Here’s what I had said.
It’sfun towrite withoutso manyspaces.
*DELETE*
Hahaha! It’sSoFunToDoThat!!
Howeverthatkindofdependsuponthelengthofyourwordsandyourcomments, forifyousaysomethinglengthywithlongwordsitbecomesmoreandmoredifficulttounderstandifyouarenotusinganyspaces.
Andapparentlythealmightyfiltermaycuttheendoffyourcomment.
Incur not the wrath of the Almighty filter! Especially in the garden.
Buttherearesomeofusthatcan handledifficult,thosethatdon’twillnoteventrytoreadwhatwearewritting. Itmaybeagoodstrategytonotletthetrollsknowwhatwearetalkingabout.
Eway ouldcay eakspay inay winishsay Atinlay!
Tubay yay timay tegay fectedinay.
(May yay oingday tiay aightray?)
Oopsway, ayay id-day tiay ongwray.
It’sstillthere,itjustgotcutofftheedgeofthebox. Ifyouhighlightitandcopypaste,youcanseeallofit.
Ifigureditwas,baseduponourbriefexperiencewithachangedformat thattendedtoputpostingsintolongverticalboxes,cuttingoffsomeparts.
Thosewhorunthissiteareplayingwiththesoftwareagain!
Has anyone else noticed that the “Notify me of follow-up comments via email” part is now screwed up too? I contacted them about it, but I’m not sure they understand that getting an email of your own comment you just made is a bit weird!
Haven’t you ever “replied to all” to an e-mail on which you were one of the addressees?
Yes, but that hasn’t been the way this site worked, until now. I
Well, maybe they changed it! II
Maybe we’re in Soviet Russia, and it’s changing us! III
I know I’m not in Russia, Soviet or not! IV
I know I was Russian this morning! Still got in late! V
I’m only a quarter Russian. Russian Blue, that is! VI
I happen to be a quarter Russian myself, although I’m not blue, currently. VII
Well, you can’t be rushing all the time. Take it easy for a while! VIII
Well, I do come here to EngrishFunny when I want to get a little Loose-key. Dleadfur, yes dleadfur. IX
Not as dleadfur as the Dleadfur Pun Herr Faily! X
Anything at all I link is getting moderated out. I fail to see the logic.
Maybe they are trying to mode out all the Porn that you are having us take a look at.
No but seriously, things are getting weird. I tried to nest a comment under Doctor Handle who was complaining of being modded out and the site kicked my comment down as a separate comment.
Somebody at WordPress is playing around with the software again. The whole subscription setup is now completely weird. I even got an email of a comment from ShadowSplicer that wasn’t on the page that the email linked to.
Maybe if enough of us make adverse comments about it, it will all go back the way it was- that’s happened before.
Maybe it was “bring your kid to work day”
Not really that porny! Mostly funny!
I was kidding.
Well, I’ve heard of multitasking, but posting while giving birth to a goat has got to be some kind of record!
some people are just overachievers.
Yeah, the ones who get a giggle out of deliberate attempts to make the rest of us feel inadequate. To people like that I say, listen up: I’ve NEVER given birth to a goat at any time, and I DON’T CARE.
You’ve only given birth to a waterdragon bike baby hybrid, right?
John B. has?
wow, impressive!
Nah, nothing came of it. It must’ve been a phantom pregnancy. It’s that, or it’s like an elephant, with the gestation period being about 2 years. *shudder*
oops. i had forgotten to change my name back after responding to someone named junior on another post.
a waterdragon baby sounds like fun.
Ohh, didn’t you hear that Dr Handle got pregnant by drinking tea from the multiply function pot. She had been having secks at that time with a bike and also a waterdragon. Therefore getting pregnant with a hybrid between the two. If the baby comes out with a waterdragon head, he will have really sharp teeth that can bite your head off. I adviced her to think about not breastfeeding.
It was probably a psychological pregnancy, let’s hope it’s not the elephant.
DrH thinks it was a phantom pregnancy. Standby for the birth of a baby Ghost Who Walks.
If it’s a ghost baby, maybe she won’t even have to give birth to it. It might just pass through the placenta and stomach, just like they go through walls.
That would be the easiest birth in the world!
It was the Almighty Garden Filter.
Dammit, I forgot to say my prayers to the Almighty Garden Filter. That’s probably why he/she did it.
The Almighty Garden Filter also doesn’t like it when you curse.
Dammit – dam it. Catch rainwater, save it and use it wisely in your gardening. Surely the Almighty Garden anything has to approve of this?
Of that, I would approve. But being almighty I know what la conejita had in her heart, and she was not referring to dams.
Hail Almighty Gardening Filter. Please provide me with a big long hose that will excrete precious water into my lovely flowers.
The End. I mean Amen.
Ave Almighty Garden Filter, I ask that you look benevolently at my little lime tree and my wollemi pine, as they are struggling a bit in the sudden heat this week. Also, could I have some fruit on the blueberry shrub?
Thanks, amen. I mean stamen.
I have heard your prayers, and seen your tears. You shall receive as you have asked.
DrH: Have you covered the blueberry shrub with bird netting? Some birds like unripe blueberries so much that there could be fruit that you never even get to notice.
You mean prayer is not the answer??!! Something prosaic like a net is the solution? Wouldn’t that imply a lack of faith in the power of the almighty?
Maybe netting is the almighty garden filter. It filters out the birds.
Trust in me, but use netting as appropriate. So too with Band-Aids, crutches, wheelchairs, doctors, teachers, neighbors, friends, clergy, etc. If you have a loose steer, contact a cowboy. My workers and aides can be found everywhere, and you never know whose voice I might be speaking through, whose hands I might be helping through, or whose heart I might be caring through.
Wow!! A direct message from the Almighty Garden Filter! I’m gonna start a church, and people will send me money!! Thank-you, AGF!!!!
Yes, I have the bush netted, and keep it sprinkled with sulphur so it’s just a weeny bit acidic (which is what blueberry shrubs prefer). The AGF helps those who help themselves.
Is HUMN DUTY
Do you know your duty?
No, but if you humn a few bars, I can probably improvise.
*tish-BOOM!*
I bet I’ve humned more bars than you’ve ever dutied.
*tish-BOOM*
Hehe….you said doody!
Well, then it must be Howdy Doody time!
“Say hello to my little (brown) friend”.
She LA? Don’t you think it says Sheila?
Then perhaps it’s from Australia.
I think she is in Hunan, China or from there.
Who. Nan?
Hu’s on first?
Maybe her instinct is, but the rest of her?
Toteachingisa she go.
But tolearningisa she is not.
Finally, a bit of Strine!
Fair dinkum, mate!
Why would SHE LA want to know butifeel anxiety and fear? That’s messed-up!
Perhaps butifeel is worth the anxiety and fear.
That probably depends on whose butifeel, after all.
Feel all 12 ass.
Okay. It sounds strange to me, but you’re my attorney, and if you think that’s what will get me an acquittal…
We shall use our licenses to practice law and medicine until we get it right.
I think we might see the birth of a new legal principle here: Traversing touching.
“We shall use our licenCes to practiSe law”… nouns and verbs, people, nouns and verbs…
Those are British spelling affectations that were condemned in my childhood halls of academia here and ridiculed except in larger dictionaries with a (U.K.) notation. I will continue my unchecked licentious American spelling habits.
Crazy Australians and their alternate spellings…
oh… oh, SHE LA!
Not under MY roof, she won’t!
let me love you till the morning comes…
*refuses traversing touching*
I read that first word as “Sheila” and thought, finally, some Auslish!
I’m still not sure it DOESN’T say “Sheila,” although the rest of it doesn’t seem to make sense for any English-speaking nation. Perhaps someone had an overdose of Vegemite?
I’m reading it as meaning something like “Sheila is afraid of having her bottom fondled”.
I was just giving her an Aussie salute!
No, the Great Australian Salute is waving your hand about in front of your face to shoo away flies. As to uninvited bottom-fondling, I suggest that it would be a better strategy to ask politely first. Who knows, she might even fondle you back!
Can I help it the fly was on her ass?
Dictated but not read,
- William Shatner
UGH! My cat just puked on my bed!! Is Billy Mays here?
Mine did that all through last night – at least it doesn’t smell as bad as from t’other end.
YES, FOLKS, IT IS TRUE, AS DR HANDLE JUST OBSERVED, THAT CAT VOMIT, AS GROSS AS IT IS, IS NOT NEARLY AS DISGUSTING AS CAT DIARRHEA. SO, YOU’LL BE GLAD TO KNOW THAT WE ARE INTRODUCING A NEW PRODUCT, POOP-O-VOM. POOP-O-VOM USES SPECIAL ENZYMES TO TRANSFORM CAT FECES, NO MATTER HOW LIQUIDY OR STENCH-FILLED, INTO VOMIT. BUT WAIT, YOU SAY. I’VE STILL GOT VOMIT. WELL, THAT’S WHY EVERY ORDER OF POOP-O-VOM COMES COMPLETE WITH A FOLLOW-UP KIT OF VOMAWAY…
Now my head hurts.
THEN PERHAPS I COULD INTEREST YOU IN A BOTTLE OF FUKITOL.
I’ll take two!!
TWO TABLETS, OR TWO BOTTLES?
Send me a case.
Great! I’ve got this resident with OCD who has not responded to SSRIs worth a darn, and he’s huge and freakishly strong, so he’s wreaking havoc here. Just give me your address and I’ll send him right to you. I know the air fair to Australia will be steep, but I’m sure I could take up a collection…
The air fairs in Australia are not steep, but they can be exciting. Personally, I like the biplanes.
And biplanes like everybody!
Oh, yes! Up-and downing for all!
Actually, up and downing on a plane makes me ill… quick! where are those little bags??! I need one, or two!
Is the air fare fair there then?
so…what is it you would like to know?
um,….
it says Sheila by the way
Gee, you’d think somebody might have thought of that, like, yesterday. Oh, wait, somebody did!
I feel so enlightened!
That’s what the Buddha said!
You do know what the Buddha said to the hot dog vendor?
One with everything?
Or rather “Make me one with everything”?
That was the Dalai Lama. The Buddha made it a principle never to pay for a meal, which is one of the key signs of enlightenment.
Sounds like a good gig. Or a moocher, one or the other…
Both, actually.
Ah, you must have experience with enlightenment!
You know, I never did check back to see if I have been granted Inka for achieving Zen Belly. This site has been rather fast and furious here the last couple of days…
I don’t think there are any more Incans!
At least, there won’t be after 2012. Oh, wait, that’s the Mayans.
And apparently my Roshi has responded with silence, which I shall choose to interpret as meaning I have indeed attained kensho. So from now on, you can just call me boddhisatva.
Incan, outta the can, it’s all the same…
Very good, Grasshopper. In can and out of can are two inseparable parts of a seamless whole. Now snatch this guitar pick off my belly.
That’s not your belly, and that’s not a guitar pick!
“Sheila?” These sentiments are far too sensitive to be expressed by an Aussie.
(Yes, I’m reading ‘fish’ as an i.)
Is THAT what that is?? I’ve been thinking it was some sort of Halloween spook.
I thought it was a woman named either Sheila or She La.
Wasn’t She La the consort of Sun Ra?
She.La is a boutique in Oma Ha.
I don’t know, Alaska!
You should Nebraska questions before she has her morning coffee.
Ohio! Thank’s for the advice!
I meant “Thanks”…
Aussies can show sensitivity! Anybody who says we can’t is asking to have a painapple inserted in them!
Not without the curry egg horse shoe crap.
It is too bad this one got goofed up. I don’t know the origin of the quote, but I like it: To learn is human instinct, to teach is human duty.
How you figure it’s goofed up? Looks fine to me!
i love how they spelled human wrong twice in 2 different ways! ^^