Or so help me, you’ll get such a beating
This is disposable sponge for body shampoo. You had better use this sponge with body shampoo.
Submitted by: anna.ippolita via Engrish Funny Submissions
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You had better not use it more than once, too.
Ve haff vays of makink you vash!
Oh no! It’s Vash the Stampede!
You use this sponge with body shampoo, or you get the hose again.
The other sponge is as rough as sandpaper, would you prefer it?
Can I see that hose again?
What about I hook the hose up to the warm water, and you can use the sponge with the body shampoo *while* you get the hose?
Add some candles, incense, and soothing music, and you’ve got a deal.
I draw the line at that whales humping music. You pick something nice. No Enya.
For music to induce a state of tranquility, I’m partial to Native American flute.
Right, let’s see… I’ve got some Slayer, some Sepultura, some Motorhead of course, Verdi’s “Nabucco”, some Lustmord, the soundtrack to “Gladiator”, Khaleeji belly dance, a CD called ‘SS Landser Marches’, that’s got some catchy oompah tunes on it, “Panzer rollen in Afrika wor…” … oh, here’s some Icelandic nose flute music, I think that’s as close as we’re going to get. Don’t have any candles, but I can crack some cyalume sticks for you if you like.
I’d advise against setting up Dr. Handle’s Relaxation Spa and Rest Center.
Bring on the Khaleeji! Nothing relaxes me like flipping my hair around until I collapse.
What’ll they do if I use just the sponge and water without shampoo? Give me a nice pat on the back with a whip covered in envenomed spikes or something?
Since this is a disposable sponge for body shampoo, if you do not use the shampoo, it is not disposable, and you’ll be stuck with it for life.
and it will constantly ask for money, living in your basement playing Halo 3 all day, no car, no job, broke.
*Puts a smile on*
Halo 3 is the best!
I KNOW!
I guess I’ll get the ol’ belt again if I don’t stay clean!
Will the body shampoo make my body hair shiny and silky?
No, but it will restore body to your body. Which might be a bummer if you’ve just lost a lot of weight.
Wouldn’t it also be a bummer if I had just gained weight and this thing added more body to it?
Or if you were a serial killer who was running out of space under your basement and now you had another body to dispose of?
I have the perfect plan, remember? I am going to throw a party and invite all my necrophilia friends. They each will take a body home with them.
Yeah, but there’s always at least one body at a party that no one wants.
Keep it on ice. Someone is bound to do a re-make of Weekend at Bernie’s, eventually.
The idea is that you wrap them up in little party favour bags and hand them out as the guests are going home – you get the body you’re given, you don’t get to pick and choose, although you can always do swaps with another departing guest once both of you are out the front door.
Thank you Droll and Dr. Handle for your suggestions. I am sure my party will be a killer.
You can always use the Plan 9 reanimation ray to send them on their way. Out of sight, out of mind.
Wow, that’s a great tip for family get-togethers!!
OMG!! That’s what happened!! I better get some new shampoo quick! The brand I have promised to restore body!! And it did!!
But wait, maybe I can use it on my car…
And all this time us women wondered why weight just appeared to be piling on our bodies.
What I want to know is: Who killed Mr. Body?!?
Mr Intestine did it, with the jejunum, in the peritoneal cavity.
That’s so jejune!
Oh that? That was me.
it rubs the shampoo on its skin or else …
I feel threatened…
Someone hold me :’(
I DON’T WANNA!
and
YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!
The cake is a lie.
The sponge cake is certainly a lie. It is filled with nothing but hot air.
Ur rubbing spongebob on my body EWWW
So you’d prefer Patrick?
OMG dont rub ME on him. (my name is Patrick)
redundant-ness .
When nobody was looking I used this sponge to wipe up a splash of conditioner from the floor of the shower. I feel really rebellious!
and did you not dispose of it afterward? *gasp*
Oh, Lordy! I was caught off guard by this one and damned near squirted beer out my nose! lololol. The wording on the package and the title just go together perfectly–exactly as mommy dearest said it to me when I was little. hahahaha
Japanese mistake “you had better…” for a good way to start polite suggestions all the time…good classic Engrish
Before using the sponge, however, be sure to ask yourself: Am I sponge-worthy?
I am.
Well, I wouldn’t expect you to be using one when engaged in solitary activities, but I suppose there’s no such thing as secks that’s too safe. After all, you have admitted licking your fingers…
I was licking my fingers because the chicken I ate was finger-licking good.
I’m gathering you were not a “Seinfeld” fan.
Sorry, no. I have seen several episodes, but not a big fan.
NO SOUP FOR YOU!
Same here – although I seem to have picked up on the Master Of One’s Domain meme by osmosis.
Well, the backstory is that there was an episode in which the pharmaceutical company had ceased manufacturing Elaine’s favorite brand of contraceptive sponge, and she had only a few left. So in pondering whether to, uh, up and down with a man, she had to consider whether he was “sponge-worthy.”
she really cannot up and down frequently. *nods*
Ahh. I didn’t see that one. I did see the Master of One’s Domain one, but I didn’t remember if that had a sponge in it. I also did see the one where George’s mom is in the hospital and a nurse gives the other “hot” woman a sponge bath. Or was that in the same episode?
OMG! I have one of these! I got it from a weekly mansion in toyko!
So it is only a mansion during the week? What is it on the weekends?
A hobo camp.
Is that where the parents send their kids to learn to be hobos?
I don’t know about anyone else, but, personally, I don’t much care for my personal hygiene products giving me orders.
Did this remind anyone else of the scene in Monsters Inc. Where they were putting on the fake musical. “You better put that thing right back where it came from or so help me!” *poses*
Or else, somebody gonna get hurt reeeal bad…
*slap*