And yet it doesn’t look like either one
Fried Crabcrow
I don’t know about the crow, but I could go for some fried crab
Submitted by: dunno source via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Is that like a sea-horse?
*claps* Good SS didn’t say FIRST. *gives SS some gum*
I haven’t said the “F” word in a LONG time! (Thanx for the gum!)
Well that may have been because you haven’t got the chance recently.
Ohh, you didn’t know him back in his trolling days. He’s been a recovered firster for quite a while now. Don’t tempt him.
And actually, he’s been the first poster, recently, more times than anyone else, which suggests to me that he’s been a bit lax in his home school studies here around the holidays.
It wasn’t Engrish. It didn’t count.
I wasn’t talking about the one time you said, “FIRST,” which we agreed was an anomaly. I was talking about the fact that you’ve gotten first crack at quite a few of them lately, and hadn’t said “first” at any of those. This was a compliment, not a criticism (at least of your post-troll development, if not of your academic diligence).
Yeah, his comment came out of no where.
SS, congrats on not being a troll anymore.
Yay me!
You’re a sneaky one, JohnB. Talk about damning with faint praise!
You’re a sneaky one, Mr. B….
He’s as cuddly as a cactus.
JohnB never prays with damning feints. He never tries to fool God.
As my friend Droll likes to say, we play hard here. I can be snarky, although I usually aim my sharpest barbs at the trolls. But I like to think that my warmth comes through at times, too. When I indicate enjoyment of a comment, or praise or defend someone, that is usually genuine. I genuinely like most of the people here, which is why I put some effort into trying to be funny, and some thought into trying to keep up with what everybody else is saying. I am “sneaky” in the sense that I am sometimes deliberately ambiguous. But one of my weaknesses is passive aggression, and so sometimes an insult sneaks into what I say without my intention. I really intended no slight at SS’s academic diligence; I was really saying I just didn’t know anything about that. I can see, though, how that could have been intended as a swipe, since he is on here a lot, and I could be implying he’s playing here instead of working. But I wouldn’t intentionally go there, since I would certainly be tarring myself with the same brush!
He’s as charming as an eel, Mr. B!
Probably everyone on here has something else they should be doing!
One thing I’ve learned in my 56 years is that the to-do list never ends, but life does. We have to take time out to smell the lolzes.
Its fried. What do you expect?
Half-baked.
Here on EngrishFunny, I expect flied.
I like it flaked.
Well, that’s just flakey.
I like that kind of quality though.
Well, you are what you eat.
Catfood?
Are you saying I’m low quality? I’m insalted!
That’s confusing. Are you saying you’re not salted, or you’re salted inside?
Depends on whether or not you like salt.
Not usually as a main course.
Then I’m insulted!
If you had enough salt, you could be insulated.
Or you could be Lot’s wife.
Flies coming right up, sir. Do you prefer house or fruit?
Pop.
Time.
Zipped.
Unzipped, if ya catch my drift… *creepy Mae west voice*
*smarmy voice*
Well, why don’t you look on down and, uh, see me some time?
Burned?
If it’s a meatbiscuit.
You can burn pretty much anything these days.
la conejita’s husband says she can even burn cereal.
You can, but I wouldn’t advise it.
I have never burned cereal. I guess I could if I wanted to. But I prefer it dry with Mike.
You were probably talking to someone else’s husband.
Cereal on mike? That’s an interesting way to have secks!
I’d like the cereal, hold the mike.
*holds the mike*
Just try to speak close to it. Otherwise the people in the back won’t hear you.
Why do i want to speak close to your husband, is he holding a mike?
“I prefer it dry with Mike.” I’m sorry, I’ve come up with at least five funny comebacks to that sentence, but I can’t pare even one down to an R-rating…
Well, the first thing you should be telling me is, why am I doing it with Mike when we all know my husband’s name starts with an A.
Well, his name could be something like Amiche, “Mike” for short. (Your hubby could be Italian, who knows?) But if it’s dry, that’s another problem. Perhaps one of the fine Lube Sheep products might come in handy.
Or maybe some KY Yours and Mine. But they don’t come in handy, they come in a bottle and then you pour them on your hand or directly on your dry area.
We have a lady of rather mature years yet almost complete innocence on our staff here. Last year, we had a Christmas party with gag grab-bag gifts, and she got one with KY Jelly in it. She said, “Oh, it’s Kentucky Jelly,” and brought down the house! She looked baffled and said, “What’s Kentucky Jelly, and why is it so funny?” I literally fell out of my chair. We still kid her about it.
That’s funny.
My mom is young as you already know. But still she is a very innocent woman. She went out to the store and said she bought a massage oil like the one my brother’s girlfriend has. “Mom, that’s a lubricant”
This is what Kentucky Jelly is for!
From “The Meaning of Liff”:
Kentucky (adj): Fitting exactly and satisfyingly.
I didn’t make that up. It’s in the book!
They look like pigs in blankets to me
That’s how the smart chefs keep the food from getting cold.
I don’t know. I never lend my blankets to pigs.
What if you have them over for a sleep over? Would you be a bad host?
Actually, I invite them over often when I have guests in the house, but they need no blankets, since they’re pork roasts, sausages, bacon, ham, etc.
I get it, they don’t need blankets to keep them warm, because the oven will already be hot enough.
Or the frying pan.
What if you wanted to serve your guests cold cuts? Would you then put a little blanket over them?
Yes, I would. I have these nice little insulating foam blankets made of grain fibers, sometimes called “bread.”
Aww, how cute.
Yes, it’s a little dish I invented. I call it a “sandwich.” Or, in Philipino, “sand wits.”
Filipino. There’s also the variant “samwits.”
“Fried Crabclaw” is probably what it means.
I suppose they have to pull off the wings, beaks and claws to cook them, otherwise they don’t fit so neatly onto the skewers.
But, I thought we were frying the crabcrows? Are we roasting them over a spit instead? Jeesh, make up your mind. I put all the oil in the deep fryer already.
I put them on skewers to stop them curling up. Get that deep fryer hot, we are definitely frying. As soon as we finish doing the vampires, in go the crabcrows.
You guys are mean!
No, we’re just hungry. Do you want these in crumbs, or batter?
If you fit them on skuas, things could get interesting.
I guess this is for grouchy people who have to take back what they said.
Or perhaps for grouchy people who are darn proud of it and want everyone to know. I have one of those for a neighbor – he’d love this dish.
Looks like bacon wrapped scallops to me – slightly off on both animals (fried scalloppork?)
opps – I thought it said crabcow.
Yeah, I’m always getting cows and crows confused. Sure makes for an adventurous milking hour!
Darn, I thought it said cow too….until I read that comment!
That’s okay. I get cabs and crabs confused, too. You don’t know how much time I’ve wasted trying to climb aboard crabs…
Time wasted hitting on Paris Hilton?
There are probably lower-percentage plays.
Not crabs, crows, nor ants are quite like you, nor partially decomposed human beings!
…I don’t expect very many people will get that.
Look at the wonders genetic engineering has brought us. Or abominations. Depend on how you look at it.
That will depend on how they taste. If they taste yummy, they are a triumph of science and a boon to humankind. If they taste yukky, they are an affront to nature and the scientists responsible should be ashamed of themselves for misuse of molecular biology for such frivolous ends.